My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, living together.
He is a bit relentless with the things I have said to him in the past, the times we fought, I just left to avoid a fight. I see now that it really hurt him when I would step outside just to breathe.
He has done things to upset me as well, but I have been very forgiving.
We don't cheat on one another, we help out in tough situations...
We talk.
Though when he gets angry, he clams up and won't talk.
He says he is upset, angry and doesn't want to be near me.
He doesn't want me touching him, asking him questions.
All he says is I am mad at you, now leave me alone, if you care.
Last night everything was fine, we were driving home from a movie, laughing even, and
I was talking about the roadwork on the side of the road, then I looked over and he had the meanest face Ive ever seen.
I asked him what was the matter
And he didn't respond
I tried to hold his hand and he shoved it away.
So I immediately thought over everything I had said.
I couldn't figure out what could have upset him.
I had done nothing to upset him, unless me mentioning the water being turned off
Struck a nerve.
We came home after that and I just stayed outside for a while wondering what I did.
I went inside and he was "ok"
He said he was upset and didn't want to talk.
So I just went to bed
Then woke up this morning and he was still furious with me
He wanted me out of the room he was in not touching him, and not talking to him most of all.
So he leaves for work an hour early and says Ill be home after work

And I say OK.
He hesitated as if I was going to say something more, but why would I say I love you when he doesn't want me to talk to him.
This happens sometimes, where he is angry at what Ive said
We are both at fault, just this time I don't know what I did

And I am unsure if I am supposed to stay quiet and wait for him to calm down
Or demand I know what I did.
How am I supposed to fix it if I am in the dark

Ok.

Either he has anger management issues and you need a new boyfriend
OR
you hurt his feelings recently and you need to discuss it.

I would ask asap if you recently said something to offend him. And it may have been a misunderstanding and you want to clear it up! If he cannot speak still, then you have major communication issues. And you need to face that. You are living together, but the next step (marriage) is a long way away if you walk around on egg shells! If he is now happy and all is fine... that is NO GOOD AT ALL... what about the anger with no explanation? You need to know what's going on - because it will happen again.

Get to the bottom of this. Let me know what he says.

I honestly think he has anger issues.
One moment he will be fine and then he will go into a day or two of anger.
He is very loving, he really doesn't want to communicate. It has always been like that.
I have changed so much for him, and he doesn't want to budge for me.
I don't want to leave him, but I am not sure if things will change.

I think seriously that he has problems communicating. The other option is he is creating something so that he can "disappear". Write back and let us know if he comes home after work when expected or if you have to wait and his excuse is that he was mad. Seriously... you need to let him know that this childish way of him coping is not acceptable. He hurts you and expects you to be there when he's done. He may not know what's wrong, but I bet he will come up with something and what's the deal with the water being off?

Silence is NOT golden.

Time to talk. It doesn't need to be confrontational. Just inquisitive.
And if has anger issues that is a lifetime issue. He'd need to deal with it now -- if you want to modify it as a couple and adapt it into your lives. You won't last like this forever I'd bet, no matter how sweet and philosophical you are. Is he on medications? Does he get along with his (both) parents?

Sounds like he needs to learn how to communicate his feelings. If he wants to clam up I don't blame you for wanting to step outside. I hate being in the same room as somebody that is upset and refuses to talk about it. You need to tell him that as long as he wants to deal with his 'anger' his way you feel you need to deal with it your way until you two can come to a compromise on how to handle issues.
He needs to quit playing the games cause it almost sounds like 'the silent treatment' which is a game. Tell him that you want to have a good heart to heart discussion so you can work on your problems because you do not like being left in the dark and you want to be able to make him happy.

Have you guys considered a counseling session together? I for one am not a huge fan of counselors but I have gone before and I'll tell you what - a 3rd party being completely unrelated to the two of you taking a peak at what's going on from the outside in can really shine a new light of perspective on things.

Reactions like that are not healthy and could be more than just an anger management issue. Take Care

I truly believe that you haven't done anything wrong, of course we don't have the whole story to go by from incidents in the past that this seems to happen frequently. But from what you are telling us now the problem seems to be connected with him.

When you ask him what is wrong and he doesn't want to talk about it and for a few days he is angry and then what? Does he just act like nothing happened and expect you to do the same?

I know from experience and from my friends that when you ask your partner or tell your partner, "Hey, we need to talk." Instantly a wall will go up around them and they will be closed to anything you have to say or it will turn into an arguement. This doesn't mean that there is no hope in communicating with him it just means you may have to approach it a little more tactfully and bit more clever.

If this man is not physically abusive and you don't feel threatened by any harm from him then maybe this will be more effective in getting him to open up to you. First of all in an adult relationship you have to take some risks, you have to ask questions and point things out even if it may be embarressing for you or may upset your partner because if you don't it is going to lead to resentment and you will not ever get close to them. So instead of asking him if you can talk about this problem [because he may think that there isn't one]....just start talking about it and expressing your feelings about it. It will catch him off guard so he won't have much time to put up a wall. Don't be afraid that he is going to think of you as a complainer because you're not, you are giving him feedback on how he is coming across. He may even be clueless to what he is doing that is making you feel bad and he may make some changes to support the health of your relationship. If not and he continues then you are left with only two choices and only one of those choices will result in a spontaniously right action....only your heart will know.

If you are not willing to bring it up then the only alternative is you have to let it go.

If something bothers you...it bothers you and the longer you ignore it the more it will eat away at you.

You don't have a problem, he does, and its his to deal with, and not you. Be aware though, that his behavior affects you in some to very healthy ways, and honestly, without honest communications, your not only wasting your time, but will suffer emotionally. Its only been a year, and already your second guessing yourself.

This borders on abuse, and abuse escalates, and gets worse unless a lot of help is sought. If he won't help himself, then you must protect yourself.

Give him these options:

A. Seek anger management therapy
B. Enlist himself in the Army or Marine Corps so his ugly, angry face will change in a week
C. You dump him