Ask Me Help Desk - Is my ex boyfriend the father?

28th of January was the last time I had sex with my ex partner. On the 31st of January I took the morning after pill. I then had a period on the 5th of January but this came early (I do not normaly come on until around the 16th of each month) as I had flew 2 australia and believe the time difference an change in continent encouraged this. I then met somebody else over there and we had sex 26th and 29th feb and 7th of march. I did a pregnancy test on 15th march which confirmed I was pregnant. Since going for my scan they have given me a due date of 19th November, this was worked out from the development of baby, not from the date of my last menstrual cycle. Would you say it is my ex boyfriend from englands baby or the man from australia?

Your are in a tricky situation as due dates, even when given from baby's development are not carved in stone. You still have roughly a 4 week window of what is considered term or a normal time to have baby. Very few baby's actually come on their due date.
Given the date they have, are they putting you at about 25 weeks along? This would be a bit late for your ex, but a bit early for the man in Australia. With a window of time on either side, either one could really fit. Since you took the morning after pill, the bleeding you had on the 5th of February was likely from that. They are usually pretty effective, but not always 100%. I think you might end up having to go with a paternity test to know for sure, unless it is very obvious once the baby is born who the father is... and sometimes that is the case.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Your are in a tricky situation as due dates, even when given from baby's development are not carved in stone. You still have roughly a 4 week window of what is considered term or a normal time to have baby. Very few baby's actually come on their due date.
Given the date they have, are they putting you at about 25 weeks along? This would be a bit late for your ex, but a bit early for the man in Australia. With a window of time on either side, either one could really fit. Since you took the morning after pill, the bleeding you had on the 5th of February was likely from that. They are usually pretty effective, but not always 100%. I think you might end up having to go with a paternity test to know for sure, unless it is very obvious once the baby is born who the father is.....and sometimes that is the case.

I would also like to add that I was bleedin below 4 around a week and went for an ultrasound on the 25th of march, the outcome being that they could not locate the foetus at this stage and dated the amniotic sac at just over 4 weeks. I was asked to go back on the 8th April where they located the foetus and dated it at 7 weeks and 6 days. Does this give a more definite answer to who the father could be? I also took a pregnancy test on 8th march and this showed negative.. would it have not shown up by then if the baby was my ex's? I understand pregnancy kits are reliable.

Sounds to me like the other guy is the dad since Feb 26th to Nov 19 would be 9 months.
Also it is not uncommon to bleed while pregnant. Make sure your dr knows about it though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Sounds to me like the other guy is the dad since Feb 26th to Nov 19 would be 9 months.
Also it is not uncommon to bleed while pregnant. Make sure your dr knows about it though.

Usually dated with 40 weeks in mind instead of 9 months though. With these dates, it would put her at about 38 weeks for her due date. But you are correct... since due dates often change a bit in a pregnancy, it makes it more likely to be the other guy's.

Quote:

Originally Posted by snoopy9734

i would also like to add that i was bleedin below 4 around a week and went for an ultrasound on the 25th of march, the outcome being that they could not locate the foetus at this stage and dated the amniotic sac at just over 4 weeks. i was asked to go back on the 8th april where they located the foetus and dated it at 7 weeks and 6 days. does this give a more definite answer to who the father could be? i also took a pregnancy test on 8th march and this showed negative.. would it have not shown up by then if the baby was my ex's? i understand pregnancy kits are reliable.

Going by both scans, it would be the other guy's baby. You would have been further along if it were your ex's. Even if his sperm happened to survive for close to a week, which is not the norm, you would still be farther along at both scans. In most cases the pregnancy test on March 8th would have shown a positive if it were your ex's, and would have been just a tad early to pick it up if it were the other guy's.
Hope it turns out how you want it to!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DoulaLC

Going by both scans, it would be the other guy's baby. You would have been further along if it were your ex's. Even if his sperm happened to survive for close to a week, which is not the norm, you would still be farther along at both scans. In most cases the pregnancy test on March 8th would have shown a positive if it were your ex's, and would have been just a tad early to pick it up if it were the other guy's.
Hope it turns out how you want it to!

Thanks for taking the time to reply.
So would you say from working out the dates that I can probably expect the baby to arrive two weeks later? And is the fact my due dates were brought forward to do with the baby developing just a little fast and he is the age at what they gave me on the first scan?

Going by the scan on the 8th of April is where your current due date came from. It possibly will change a bit again as they will likely due another scan at about 20 weeks... depending on where you live (I am guessing you live in England? As you probably know, how many (and when) you get scans can depend on where you are registered).

There may be little change or none at all... no way to know. You do have roughly a 4 week window of time of what is considered normal to give birth however. Even with scans, the due date is not exact.

Probably better to say you are due around the last half of November instead of an exact date as many women start to get frustarted and worried if their due date comes and goes... which is perfectly normal to have happen.