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-   -   I still like this girl although she gave me the answer (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=246719)

  • Aug 8, 2008, 06:32 AM
    twist666
    I still like this girl although she gave me the answer
    Ok this is a long story so please bare with me.

    Basically I met this girl through my twin brother and his girlfriend years ago and really liked her at the time. On this one particular night I was going to speak to her about how I felt as we had a great night out but I got told I wasn't allowed to go there by my brother and his girlfriend told the girl I like not to lead me on. I think my brother didn't want me invading his personal space as the girl I liked lived with his girlfriend at the time, so I respected his wishes and tried to bury my feelings although it was very difficult.

    I managed to secretly get her number and we texted each other like friends but obviously as I hadn't made a move she found someone and spent the next 2-3years with him. I stayed friends with her but just stopped the texting as I felt I shouldn't do anymore with her being in a relationship. Well this girl I liked ended up splitting up with her boyfriend and I ended up splitting up with my girlfriend at the time (was coincidental) and at my brother's engagement party we spoke all night. Although she didn't realise I still had these feelings for her I didn't know what to do but that same night this other girl came up to me and said she was interested and the girl I really liked told me to go for it. So I went for it! Literally the relationship was over in a week or two.

    Since that day I hadn't seen or heard from the girl I really liked for almost a year other than through passing conversations with other friends etc. I found she had got into another relationship but apparently he split up with her however is still living with her. Now my twin brother then told me to speak to her at his wedding about how I feel and I was like I don't know and he said what have I got to loose. So baring that in mind I thought why not I'll just wait until the time is right.

    Well it got the wedding and it was a fantastic day, I was best man and she was one of the bridesmaid's, after a little catch up etc I found out she was dating someone but her ex wasn't sure how he felt about her, leaving her in an awful dilema. So I thought oh well missed the boat once again. But as the night went on and the drinks were drunk I managed to build up the confidence to speak to her and persuaded this girl to stay up with me as I needed to talk to her which she was more than willing to do so even though she didn't need to.
    I took her outside and started by saying I can't believe I'm going to say this, please don't judge me or anything but there's something I need to tell you. I started by reminding her of the first time we met and of that one night where we got told to stop doing whatever it was we were doing and how I've had these feelings over the past years and how she literally makes my heart skip a beat every time I see her. I told her I've been wanting to say something for years but have never had the chance and at that point she said that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me. But I felt a but and then my auntie walks out and we stop talking, talk about bad timing. I then took the girl I liked down the road to finish our conversation without any interuptions and the but continued. Apparently she sees me as my brother's twin brother and as a friend. I then told her I knew you were going to say that, but I watch these guys your going with and they don't know how lucky they are especially when they treat you the way they do. I would never do that I would treat you like royalty the only problem is you see me as a friend and I know that it will never be anything more which she nodded. Then I said I just wish I had done this all these years ago when I first met you but I'll let you get to bed now. She said sorry and I said no need to be sorry you've done nothing wrong its my problem to deal with so don't worry its cool.

    We seen each other the next day and it was if our conversation last night hadn't happened although it had.

    Its been nearly a week ago now and although I have been given the answer I expected I still can't help but have these feelings for her. What should I do?
  • Aug 8, 2008, 09:59 AM
    talaniman
    Its very simple, cope with your feelings, and respect hers. She wants nothing but friendship, and if you can't do that, leave her alone. I think you can handle it, myself. You seem secure in yourself, and handle rejection well.
  • Aug 8, 2008, 10:14 AM
    Smoked
    As bad as it might hurt, it would hurt more if you had never done it. Not everyone you ever "love" is going to reciprocate those feelings. I know, it's a hard truth and doesn't change how you feel.

    What's the old saying, "it's better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all"? You put it out there and should be proud.

    Like talaniman says though, don't do something goofy. Be a friend when you are needed and leave it at that.

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