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-   -   My 20yr-old daughter is disrespectful and takes me as a nobody. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=246623)

  • Aug 7, 2008, 09:26 PM
    kupkakee1223
    My 20yr-old daughter is disrespectful and takes me as a nobody.
    My daughter is 20years-old, no job, and moved out of her apartment.
    Her behavior gotten worse after she moved out of my house and into the apartment.
    Ever since,
    She lies to me about going to church meetings, but actually a guy's house or party.
    She never answers the phone even if I call 6 times in a row.
    She comes home if she needs gas money.
    She even asks her little sister 13 year old for money.

    Now that she moved out of her apartment, she's gotten way worse
    She lies constantly, she told me she went to VBS teaching, but she was actually out of town.
    She went to six flags without my permission.
    She cares herself only
    Example:
    We all have LG Phones, so we could use each others adapters. She broke her little sisters, lost hers and mine. I just bought a new one, and its already gone, and I don't know if she'll come back home again this week.
    She ruined her little sister's clip in extensions that my 13 year-old made by herself. And she took it w/o her permission and gone for 7 days. She woke up my 13 year-old at 2:31 AM, and she(13yearold) had school at 7(first day of 8th grade).

    How do I stop her behavoir?
    How do I react?
    Do I ignore her calls, don't give her gas money, and take away her car and lock her out?
    I need help?

    My younger daughter (13) is planning to buy a safe or a key lock in her room!

    Please, I don't want my daughter and I to crack under this much pressure.

    I do love my daughter... but I just don't know how to react to her irresponsible ways.

    My 13 year old daughter is way different, she texts her sister to come home every night.

    Please help!
  • Aug 8, 2008, 08:45 AM
    N0help4u
    If the car is titled in her name you can not take it away BUT you can stop giving her money.
    Tell her that since she can't earn your trust she needs to earn her OWN money.
    You can't make her stop her behavior but you can tell her that if she wants to lie and not be responsible that she is no longer welcome to live under your roof.
    Maybe start offering to go to church with her that way she can't use church for her lie.
  • Aug 8, 2008, 09:00 AM
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE
    Yes. Cut off all resources. The more and more you give, the more disrespectful and ungrateful she'll act. She needs to earn her own way in life. She is 20 years old for crying out loud! I know it's hard for a parent to let go of their children, but the only way that she will ever learn is if you do so.
  • Aug 8, 2008, 09:08 AM
    ISneezeFunny
    She's 20. An adult.

    You can kick her out of the house, cut off her money, and take the car back (if it's yours).
  • Aug 8, 2008, 10:28 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    Ok, first she is a adult and does not have to answer to you and tell you where she is going, and most certainly does not need your permission to go anywhere, That is one issue. She is not 15 and does not have to ask anyone's permission to do anything.

    Not sure where she is living, your home or somewhere else, but you don't let her in your home unless she is there as a guest when you are home, you don't give her money for anything, and get tough on her, only way to force her to be responible

    Next calling 6 times in a row, if she does not answer on one, don't make a fool of yourself, sure she is turning it off after at least the first time.

    You need to stop treating her as a child and treating her as a adult, which also means you hold her liable for her actions.

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