I'm a teenager with friends and a great family. Lately my friends have started drinking, even my closest one. I am totally against underage drinking. Not only are my friends doing it, but it seems that nearly every other teenager I know does it too! I feel like I am the only person that feels the way I do. I feel so alone. Not only that, I have self confidence issue. I don't have enough self confidence in myself and struggle to find foothold in social situations. I'm 17 and I've never even kissed a girl! I feel like a total loser. Can someone, anyone please respond to show that at least someone cares about how I feel

There are a lot of people that care here, and many have been through situations very similar to yours Bob.

There is nothing wrong with having morals and sticking with them. That in its self should give you strength and continue to build your character. You will soon be old enough to make adult decisions about these and other matters. I think that in the long run you will find that morals, character, and faith in yourself are among the things that matter in life, and give you a quiet strength that people eventually will admire. I'm sure many do now.

As far as the self confidence issue, start slow and befriend those that also need someone to know that they matter also. Sometimes you have to just bite the bullet, inhale and just approach others. One way to do this is: be sincerely interested in what the others are saying and doing. In a conversation ask a lot of questions about what the other person is talking about, ask general questions about them (maybe not too personal at first). Secret: your questions must be sincere.

A short story... someone comes up to you at a party. Follow the advice above and after a while the person is talking a lot. And if they turn the conversation around to you just bring up something such as; sports, politics (careful here), about the party your at, music, etc.

But the secret is Bob... people LOVE to talk about themselves and most DO NOT LISTEN... it is an art my friend. You will be surprised... they do all the talking, you learn things and they think you are great person...

Since most people do not really LISTEN to others it is really a pleasure to meet someone that does, really opens doors. And they will leave the conversation thinking that you are a pretty nice guy. Even though you didn't really say too much...

Try it, it probably will work for you... let me know.

Stringer

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Originally Posted by bobsaget17

im a teenager with friends and a great family. lately my friends have started drinking, even my closest one. i am totally against underage drinking. not only are my friends doing it, but it seems that nearly every other teenager i know does it too! i feel like i am the only person that feels the way i do. i feel so alone. not only that, i have self confidence issue. i dont have enough self confidence in myself and struggle to find foothold in social situations. im 17 and ive never even kissed a girl! i feel like a total loser. can someone, anyone please respond to show that atleast someone cares about how i feel

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About the alcohol... know this: Alcohol is toxic to the body! You only have one body so take good care of it. Also, alcohol is a drug (just a legal one)... don't ever forget this.

Do you have a close, trusted friend or family member? Having a close, trusted friend or family member that you can confide in will help you get through the challenges you are facing.

You're 17 and haven't kissed a girl? I didn't kiss a female until I was 20; you are definitely not alone.

Struggling with social situations? Take a real good look at the first response to your question.

Peace.

Thanks everyone for your help! It is nice to know that I'm not alone. I will take your advice to heart. Thank you so much!

Hi Bob,
I was pretty similar in my mid teens. A lot of my peers got into drinking, I didn't. I still went to parties with them, and was, at times, left with the task of making sure my inebriated friends got home OK. It got pretty exhausting.
I'm old enough to drink now, but still don't really get into it a lot of the time. I volunteer to be the designated driver so I'll have an excuse to not drink... But I (as well as you and everyone else) shouldn't NEED an excuse. It should be OK not to drink.
When it comes down to it, it's your body and your choice.

As for never having been kissed, well you're hardly of an age where it's that unusual. I wouldn't worry about it. You need to find someone who you really like and who really likes you. You don't want to be kissing people and regreting it. Let it come, but don't worry if it's not instantaneoulsy at your fingertips.

All the best,
Kal