My ex-husband has not been around for the last two years, until the last three months, since his own brothers wedding. I started by letting the 13 and 15 year old boys go with their father everyother weekend because I believed that they were old enough to know between good and bad. I have always encouraged them to love their father and told them that he will come around soon. Now that I have changed it legally, so my ex can have over night visits, since the judge took them away because of endangerment and inappropriate touching from one of his new wife's children. I know that I did encourage this meeting to take place but I am not convinced that it is a good idea to up and move after only three months. I would like him to finish out his school days here with me. My ex did ask to have the boys for 7/4/08 and my youngest went, while the older boy went to his grandparents. I ended up with a phone call from my son crying because his father took off gambling with his wife.

You are the parent, what they "want" is of no consequence here.

You have to do what you think is best for your children.

It's not easy, but you have to be more of a parent than a well liked friend.

The right thing to do, is rarely the easy thing to do.

Thank you! I just didn't think it would hurt so much!

I agree.

But, the pain you endure now, is nothing compared to the anguish you would endure if you make a decision that goes against what you know is right, and it causes pain or damage to your child.

Most of what I hated my parents for when I was a teen, are the things I thank God that they did for me now.

Endure the pain for now, so you can reap the benefits when they are healthy, happy, well adjusted adults, later.

Wishing you the best!