Ask Me Help Desk - Don't understand

Well I'm 17 and I found out this girl at school (also 17) thought I was good looking. I discovered who it was and started talking to her one day, we got along really well and I became interested in her, and it was pretty clear she was a lot more interested in me even obsessed in a way, but she had a boyfriend. But she continued to flirt with me ,write notes and spend time with me. But less than a week before I meet her I had to leave on a trip for 10 days, she knew this and wrote a note saying don't miss me , etc. So the next day I left and as my phone was broking I had no way of keeping in contact with her, but she made an effort using my friends phones and so did I aventually. So we talked a bit and we still got along really well. But one night she rang me to tell me that she broke up with her boyfriend, which she told my friends it was mainly because of me. So the day I got home she text me and we talked, and she tried to organise a get together but I said no simply because I was to tired. But the day after I got back, I had to leave again on a trip for 4 days. So she continued to call me every day and we spoke for at least 30 minutes every time. So the following week school started and the first day we got along as expected, but at the end of the day she found out I hooked out with someone on the holidays which she became upset about and she thought I was going to ask her out. So the next day she was very standoffish and she told me she was sick and she went home. The next few days she was very reluctant to make an effort to spend time with me. So I confronted her and I apoligised for what I did, and I said I was only interested in her and it was a mistake, then she told me she was upset at the start but got over it, then she said she was not sure if she was ready for another relationship and that she wants to be independent and that they never work out, but she said she was confused in what she wanted. So I wanted to know what she was thinking regarding me, but she made excuses not to talk to me (e.g. doing my hair, homework... lies! ) so eventually I asked her what was going on, and she told me she just wants to be friends. So I said that's fine, fare enough and we moved on. But two weeks on she seems to be acting the way she did at the start (e.g. writing notes again trying to get my attention all the time)
But the problem is ,I've heard that in the past she has liked someone then got over them but then again wanted them back.

So my question is have I done something wrong or is she just playing me?

She's just confused sort of. At your age, figuring out love and relationships is hard for everyone. Sometimes it seems to make so much sense, and then something will happen to change that view. She assumed that you were going to ask her out because you had been talking so much. I doubt it was any secret that you knew she thought you were cute. So when you went with a different girl instead, she was hurt. Now that's starting to pass and she's willing to give you another shot. If you want to take the shot, apologize for the situation and go for it.

She could just be wanting to be friends and test you in a way to see if you will keep interested in her or if you will decide that since she is not interested you might as well use the time to see if there is somebody else interested in you. So I would say be friends and let it develop at her pace and do not show interest in other girls or it is a sure way to get her to back off again.

My opinion is that the girl was mad about your hookup.
But soon afterwards she got over it and started to like u again.
If you like her you should probably give her a chance in a relationship.
You could also just simply ask her what is going on and to stop giving you exuses.

Well I'm 17 and I found out this girl at school (also 17) thought I was good looking. I discovered who it was and started talking to her one day, we got along really well and I became interested in her, and it was pretty clear she was a lot more interested in me even obsessed in a way, but she had a boyfriend. But she continued to flirt with me ,write notes and spend time with me. But less than a week before I meet her I had to leave on a trip for 10 days, she knew this and wrote a note saying don't miss me , etc. So the next day I left and as my phone was broking I had no way of keeping in contact with her, but she made an effort using my friends phones and so did I aventually. So we talked a bit and we still got along really well. But one night she rang me to tell me that she broke up with her boyfriend, which she told my friends it was mainly because of me. So the day I got home she text me and we talked, and she tried to organise a get together but I said no simply because I was to tired. But the day after I got back, I had to leave again on a trip for 4 days. So she continued to call me every day and we spoke for at least 30 minutes every time. So the following week school started and the first day we got along as expected, but at the end of the day she found out I hooked out with someone on the holidays which she became upset about and she thought I was going to ask her out. So the next day she was very standoffish and she told me she was sick and she went home. The next few days she was very reluctant to make an effort to spend time with me. So I confronted her and I apoligised for what I did, and I said I was only interested in her and it was a mistake, then she told me she was upset at the start but got over it, then she said she was not sure if she was ready for another relationship and that she wants to be independent and that they never work out, but she said she was confused in what she wanted. So I wanted to know what she was thinking regarding me, but she made excuses not to talk to me (e.g. doing my hair, homework... lies! ) so eventually I asked her what was going on, and she told me she just wants to be friends. So I said that's fine, fare enough and we moved on. But two weeks on she seems to be acting the way she did at the start (e.g. writing notes again trying to get my attention all the time)
But the problem is ,I've heard that in the past she has liked someone then got over them but then again wanted them back.

So my question is have I done something wrong or is she just playing me?

Johnnyl78, yes, you got it. She is playing games.

Definitely is playing games with you, don't allow it and back off

The first clue was she was flirting you up, and had a boyfriend. No loyalty there, is it?
Second she gets mad over a rumor, and things change, which makes her possessive, and highly jealous. These are not traits of an entirely healthy person, and will cause more problems, than fun. These are the signs of a female you need to be very cautious with, and NOT get deeply involved with!!!

For sure, you know enough to see how she would treat a boyfriend. Not good. Don't be her fool!!

This girl is very immature and jealous, you do NOT want to go down that road.

She doesn't know what she wants and until she finds a guy that is important enough to her to for her to not be indecisive I would just pass her by. She is not worth the time or effort.

What's the span of time of this "flirting"?

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

But she continued to flirt with me ,write notes and spend time with me. But less than a week before I meet her I had to leave on a trip for 10 days

Turned down No.1

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

So the next day I left and as my phone was broking I had no way of keeping in contact with her, but she made an effort using my friends phones and so did I aventually.

Turned down no.2

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

So the day I got home she text me and we talked, and she tried to organise a get together but I said no simply because I was to tired. But the day after I got back, I had to leave again on a trip for 4 days.

Turned down no.3

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

So she continued to call me every day and we spoke for at least 30 mins everytime. So the following week school started and the first day we got along as expected, but at the end of the day she found out I hooked out with someone on the holidays .....

Turned down no. 4

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

But two weeks on she seems to be acting the way she did at the start (e.g. writing notes again trying to get my attention all the time)
But the problem is ,ive heard that in the past she has liked someone then got over them but then again wanted them back.

Another turned down no.5??

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

The next few days she was very reluctant to make an effort to spend time with me. So I confronted her and I apoligised for what I did, and I said I was only interested in her and it was a mistake

Wow! Mistake? After all her efforts? Mistake? It hurts!

Quote:

Originally Posted by johnnyI78

then she told me she was upset at the start but got over it, then she said she was not sure if she was ready for another relationship and that she wants to be independent and that they never work out, but she said she was confused in what she wanted. So I wanted to know what she was thinking regarding me, but she made excuses not to talk to me (e.g. doing my hair, homework... lies!!)

So my question is have I done something wrong or is she just playing me?

She played on her BF, yes. If she's serious with you, nobody knows. Yes you've done something wrong and you lost her interest by so much unvailability and saying that you are less interested with her than she is to you and it was a mistake. When she was gone
,you miss the attention, do you? You too are playing both each other. That's teen life. If you want to work things out with her, be a good communicator since you got a 17 year old relationship "neophyte". Otherwise, yes, you two will "both get over it."

Quote:

Originally Posted by ylaira

She played on her BF, yes. If she's serious with you, nobody knows. Yes you've done something wrong and you lost her interest by so much unvailability and saying that you are less interested with her than she is to you and it was a mistake. When she was gone
,you miss the attention, do you? You too are playing both each other. That's teen life. If you want to work things out with her, be a good communicator since you got a 17 year old relationship "neophyte"

Entirely unfair to say that he has done something wrong. It is a two way street and she has been entirely unfair in this ongoing dialogue, I say dialogue because that's what it has seemed to be at her discretion, so she knows exactly how she is playing it out.

No one needs this type of drama.

The unavailability maybe is unintentional mistake but it compounded by "a mistake", it is insulting and hurtful.

By the way, what's the girls gain if she will put so much effort calling a guy?