I am a 17 year old guy about to enter my senior year of high school. For about 6 years now I have been painfully shy (although I was somewhat outgoing in the years before). I believe my schooling contributed a lot to this; I was home schooled up to my freshman year. I switched to a private school for my sophomore year and spent two years there. I thought I could change there; I was dead wrong. Even though the high school had less then fifty people there I constantly felt like my fellow students were hating on me because I was shy. I know this likely is not true, they did not bully me or visibly show signs of hatred. But it hurt so much to sit alone at lunch and be left out of every conversation. I would have totally flipped out there if it wasn't were for a few friends that were also unpopular.
So this year I left that school and I am switching to a public school where I know just about no one. I think this is good because I can make good impressions on these people and maybe conquer my shyness. Honestly though I am still extremely shy. So I am wondering if it is realistic or even possible to expect that I can succeed socially there? I have tried to improve by reading up on shyness but I am still terrified and reluctant to talk to people. My shyness has wrecked me and I am losing friends because of it. I'm desperate so any advice about overcoming shyness would be very welcome.

I know exactly how you feel, in my freshman year of high school, I basically had no friends and I sat at lunch all by myself. And then finally I got sick and tired of it and said that I was going to make some friends. So first of all, you just have to get courage, there's really no easy way to do it. Try to talk to some people in your classes and if you click with them even a little bit tell them "If I see you at lunch, I'll come talk to you." or something like that. If you seriously don't see ANYBODY you saw in your classes, go up to someone who's also lonely or a small group of guys that look your age and just start talking, like "Is that food good?" or something. Now I'm not saying you'll be popular in a matter of days, but at least you won't be somebody without a friend.

I went through a period when I was a freshman in high school where I seemed to suddenly become an introvert. And seemed to have some of the same problems, I was determined to do whatever I had to, to not be this way. I finally had some success by trying to be a friend first and letting people get to know me... I found out that the problem was that I expected all of them to be friends without much help from me, understand? When I began to open up more they did also... In some cases I had to be a little forward... but did it gently.

I always liked to sing and found I had some talent, so I started a band. I became someone else on stage in high school and college. I was out going and comfortable up there. But I was two personalities, but then they began to merge together and by mid freshman year all was pretty good.

I have always been a salesman my whole life. I had to be outgoing, I had to make a living.

At first, again I was one person at work and something different other times. Then again things came together as one and I now really enjoy sales and I am the one who usually starts up conversations with everyone I meet. I haven't had a problem since then.

I guess what I am saying is that for people like you and I it means that we just have to try, try to make the first move. Yeah some people are just jerks and will probably "plant" one on you sometimes, but these aren't people you really want to hang with anyway M.O.M.

Be yourself, but be more of yourself, join some clubs in school, sports, be a nice guy... oh yeah and go "steady" with the popular cheer leader too, that certainly helps... kidding :)

Stringer

Being really good at something help me get over my shyness in High School. For me, it was drama class. I was a total introvert in person but when I got up on stage and was forced to make up my own skits and ad-lib, etc. I was a totally different person. I tried to take the humorous side of things any chance I got, cause I loved to make people laugh. I got so good that the Drama teacher made me perform for all her classes and be in the school play. It was a great confidence booster.

Another tip: At lunchtime, look around for another loner to sit next to. Chances are, he or she is more than willing to talk to you - and that takes a lot of pressure off you. Good luck, bro.

One more thing: I always felt that it's better to have one or two good friends rather than a bunch of so-so friends. Once you have a couple good friends, you can laugh off any peer-pressure from the school cliques because you can always retreat into the comfort zone of your own pals.

I too, have found that being in drama or performing types of groups of any kind have helped me to overcome my own shyness!

I tried to spread the rep some Stringer, but couldn't so soon. But, I did want to say that I can really identify with what you put in your answer! :)

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Originally Posted by Clough

I tried to spread the rep some Stringer, but couldn't so soon. But, I did want to say that I can really identify with what you put in your answer! :)

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Thank you Cloug, I try, my friend, to put my heart and experience into every post. If I can't speak intelligently to the subject... you won't see me respond.

I wish I was as well rounded and experienced as my you friend... :)

Stringer

I am also shy at my age. I have been wanting to start acting but I am so VERY, VERY, VERY shy.But I've been seeing all these comments about how to overcome shyness. I keep thinking, "Why am I so shy?" I keep thinking that when I was told not to talk to strangers, I must have taken it to over-drive! By reading other people's comments I feel that I need to start opening up, and I think you should do the same. So I hope this helps you overcome all your shyness. Glad I could help! :);):D:o:cool::rolleyes:

Thank you for responding on this thread, lovebunni435 so positively and in a proactive way!

If you'd like to maybe start a thread that's only for you and about being shy and also about acting, then you might want to start a new thread over in the Theater forum area. If you do that, you'll be most likely to attract those here who know exactly what you mean because of having shyness and also being in acting.

I would be one of those people.

Thanks!

I used to be a shy person. I was afraid to do anything because I was scared of being judged, I was always concerned about what other people thought of me. But you need to know that the only person that's going to notice your every detail and remember every mistake you ever made is even more weird than your shyness. Just let go and be free, learn to deal with criticism and practise talking to yourself in the mirror. It really helps