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-   -   I have an 8 yr. Old that lies and steals (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=245660)

  • Aug 5, 2008, 01:04 PM
    spaceystacy
    I have an 8 yr. old that lies and steals
    Hi, I have and eight year old boy that lies and steal. I have a 7 year old boy and a 9 year old boy as well and have no problems with them. My son Dylen was very attatched to his dad, (my ex). We separated over six years ago because he was scitzofrinic/bi-polar. He was a danger to society. He has been in and out of the mental institute several time in the past 6 years. I am now remarried for five years now. The kids dad has been in the hospital again for 4 months now. No word from him at all. Dylen has always been a follower. He has a habit of hanging out with kids that are older than him. He does not know how to choose his friends. The ones that he has chosen have been very bad influences on him and got him in trouble. He failed the 2nd grade and now has to redo it this year. There was some things that happened a few months ago when his father went off his medication that were kind of mind tormenting for Dylen. I have had him seeing a counselor for the past 6 months now. In my opinion it has not helped. Dylen has been stealing, whether it be from me, our neighbors or the stores. He lies all the time and he is very sneaky. We can not trust him at all. I have tried church as well. I am at a loss of what to do. I have tried all different things for punishment and tried all different talks. I am at a loss of what to do. He just seems to be getting worse and worse. Help!! I don't want my boy to keep getting in to trouble and doing these things and wind up in jail. What should I do??
    Thanks,
    Stacy
  • Aug 5, 2008, 01:23 PM
    KissMe10der
    There are other questions about their child stealing.. on the site. Feel free to look around.

    Have you tried talking to your child? Explaining what's expected of him? And what's not exceptable?

    I know my little brother was maybe 5 when he first stole... He wanted candy.. And mom told him "no". Well, he snuck the candy into his coat pocket and took it out at home. Mom found it, and asked where it came from... figured out he stole it from the store.

    Mom, drove back to the store WITH my brother and went to the cashier. She MADE him apologise for the theft. And my mom paid for it. The cashier tried to give the candy back to my mom. But she was pissed at the thought! "NO, we are not rewarding him, he stole! You can throw it away or keep it! I DONT CARE!" And she grounded him when she got home.

    Next time, I think when you know he stole something you need to bring him back and the object. MAKE him apologise. Its hiliating.. and might help him think twice. If he steals again, then you need to contact your local police department. And have them have a talk about what would happen or is going to happen if its kept up.

    Your child is young, and this behavior can change.. he is at a very influential age.

    You can control on who your son hangs out with, you allow him to leave the house. You can't change who he hangs out with at school.. but you can change schools if you are that worried.

    Have you had your child checked for mental health issues?
  • Aug 5, 2008, 01:24 PM
    LostInHisEyez
    I can understand where your son is coming from, when my parents divorced and I never heard from my dad but when I did, it were things about my parents failed marriage. I kind of rebelled, and have huge depression issues, but I went to a therapist, and she saved me. Maybe he needs to find one that clicks for him, or a group therapy with kids his age.
  • Aug 5, 2008, 01:30 PM
    KissMe10der
    LostInHisEyez is correct. A therapist can help, but not all therapists work the same.

    I had one the hospital gave me... I hated her.. She never helped me.

    I then found a good one through my medication doctor... and she helped me realize sooo many things.
  • Jun 14, 2012, 11:04 AM
    nellybell
    My grandson stole something .it was in the family. But now he has been through a lot of ups and downs really since he was 3 yeards old. He has a half brother (his mom) and a half sister (his dad) and until this last year he had spent a lot of time with me and he loves that time we spend togather but the past year we have not got to spend that time togather this is when he stole. His mom and dad split up well hear comes these other 2 kids and I really feel he just feels left out and the one he felt he could depend on is not there as much any more I really feel this is what is going on this has never happen before until this year. Thanks can you help and am my feelings right.

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