We have been together nearly 2 years. He wanted to have control over me and I felt like I was just in the relationship, not a part of it. I do love him... but, I need to love me more. I had lost trust in him and myself.

Now, I am accused of leaving him for another person, even sadder, he cannot accept that it could have been anything he did. And of course I am to blame once more.

It has been 8 days now since I left and moved out of our home. The more contact I have with him, the worse I feel.. Actually nausea. I want to vomit all day, this only begun 2 days ago when he began to act more civil to me and we had more communication. I saw him in person for the first time since our breakup and I got such a headache and so sick.

And now since I did not take a call from him yesterday, because I didn't want to get sick again, he is accusing me again of leaving him for another, boy, he is so mad. I got so sick after this that I threw up.

I really never wanted to hurt him so bad, even thought we could possibly work it out, but after the accusal again, I gave up on that thought. But, he has such a way of blaming me that I tend to think it is just me and I am the one who has the problems.

I wish I felt better, the stress is unbearable right now.

I feel very sad, and a bit afraid (since I moved from another state to be with him). But, I decided to stay in the town where I lived and make it work. I think I have done a brave thing... of course he thinks I am a coward.


Please tell me how to feel better...

He feels hurt and he will say anything he can to make it feel to him like he did no wrong.
Controlling guys always play the same games he is playing. You broke up with him for good reason. Don't take his calls and realize you have to do no contact so he can't sucker you back into his control mode. It is ALL games and he knows them well. You broke up with him so leave him alone to blame whoever he wants that is his problem unless you keep letting him victimize you by taking his calls and playing into his hand.

He is trying to belittle you so that you will come back to him. Very easily avoided by ignoring his attempts to contact you. You did the right thing!

You feel physically ill because you're stressed out and you are emotionally defeated, it's quite normal..

When I was in the middle of breaking up with my boyfriend, I had to stop talking to go and throw up because I was so upset..

Those feelings will pass, just make sure to eat, usually when I break up with someone I don't have a desire to eat for a while and I loose weight (im already petite) so it's not good.. take care of yourself.. and stop all contact immeadiatly

Quote:

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Originally Posted by liz-pa

He has such a way of blaming me that I tend to think it is just me and I am the one who has the problems.

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"liz-pa" from what you have described of him,he is a control freak having
That way of making you "look small"

Quote:

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I saw him in person for the first time since our breakup and I got such a headache and so sick.

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... he is also giving you bad health :( For your own peace of mind,you are far better
Off without him.

I am feeling better today, not as sick. He has been contacting me and I have not responded. I do not want to risk getting sick again. Before I read everyone's responses here, I was really feeling like I owed him some sort of contact and also feeling like I was not being fair to him in some way. He was very mad at how I broke up with him, by a message and not in person. I just felt like if I did it in person, I would not have left or been able to leave.

This has been the most difficult break up I ever had to face, maybe since I still love him and thoughts of ignoring the bad things and just being happy living with him come and go. Such a battle, and so hard to keep on my forward path. I just moved into an apartment here, a place (another State) that I would have never chose to live in if not for him.

He tells me how things could not have been so bad, since we just moved into a new place together a month ago, yeah I wanted things to be OK. I have been so depressed about our relationship, I just wanted my life to be over, it was just too much. And every argument with him was stopped and over and I was begging for him, because he would always threaten to leave me if, "his Way", was not achieved.

I know I am doing the right thing for me, but still weak thoughts of being back with him enter my mind.

Thank you, everyone for your support. I am in such need of confidence at this point in my life.

Sweet you need a change for now. See if you really love him and he still love you then don't step back... I know it was a hard time for you to forget and get out from da relation now when everything is get find then why are you run away... stand in front of the minor and ask for you self you will find the answer...
One more thing people will give you 10 answer but end of the day you are one who is going to take up a decsion so sweet think before you do anything..

Take care and godbless

Cheers

I hope you take a right decsion

I know I have made the right decision. I know he is not the person for me. Just very difficult to go through this.

It is for everybody no matter how wrong the guy is for us we all still go through it.

Hi Liz,
Glad your feeling better, and I for one congratulate you on standing up for yourself, and doing what you had to. Your stronger than you think, and care more than you know. Both are good traits, for the right partner.

Keep the No Contact with him whatsoever, and soon he will get the message and leave you alone. You will also feel better without his games, and drama.

He should be pizzed at himself for running a good person away, and he is, but he wants to make it your fault, when its his. Disappear from his life, and be happy with the one you build for yourself, without him in it.

Is it bad that the only thing I'm wishing,after reading this, is that I had the same effect on my ex?

I can only dream