My stepdaughter keep on stealing from members of our family, she took $ 200.00 from one of her sister 3 months. Ago and my husband and I made sure that she understood the graveness of what she did. Last July 4 after visiting their eldest sister apartement they call us 3days asking if by any chance we saw her diamond ring, and we found out that my 12 years old step daughter did it again. We are furious my eldest step daughter wants me to do something about it the way that she understand what she did , so we did the understanding, caring and make her feel loved and cherish approach, it didn't work. Tonight I was doing my laundry when I realize that I am missing $ 150. From my purse, I was so mad and confronted my step daughter again, she admit that she took it. I wa so disappointed and running out of option so I called the police and explain to them that my step daughet is out of control and if a police officer will explain to her the graveness of her habit she may listen. My husband knew that I just did hat I think is best for our household and for my step daughter but I can feel that he is hurt by my action. I have no intention of apologizing to him cause I knew what I did and I think it's the best. The police told me that my stepdaughter received a warning and if she did it again they will charge her. For now I told her that she is grounded for two weeks, she have to do house choirs, no TV, no computer, no shopping. My plan is to show toughness to her even if it means that I will not speak to her for the mean time.

Yes, it's time for some tough love! And, I think that it looks like you are taking the right steps in the correct direction as far as the disciplining is concerned. You also might want to consider taking her to a place where they house juvenile offenders to show her the possibilities as to what might happen.

I taught at the middle school level at a very tough school for awhile. We, as teachers considered that it was part of our job to teach the kids as much as we could about how to act, react and cope in the world before the "men and blue" would have to do it for us and for their parents!

I know that it's not going to be easy for you or for her and I do wish you well!

I'm sure that others will be along to address your question.

Boot Camp!!

Teens carrying "caught shoplifting" signage. Is this the way to teach a lesson in 2007? - OregonLive.com: Northwest Headlines

I know she didn't shoplift... but... I guess it's the new way of doing "tough love"

Hey, I get that paper! LOL!

That's not a bad idea.

If she does, by chance shoplift, you can contact the Loss Prevention from the store that she steals from.

My boyfriend got a call from this girl's parents saying that she had shoplifted, and they wanted to scare her out of the habit. She's 13. So they brought her into the store, to his office, and he gave her a talking to. He explained to her what jail was like. He handcuffed her and told her that they'd have to charge her $50,000 and if she couldn't pay she would be arrested and go to jail. She said she didn't have that much, and her parents said they wouldn't pay it so he called the cops. (He really called his friend's cell phone, his friend is a cop). He came in his car and recuffed her and put her in his car, her parents said bye to her. And the cop drove around the parking lot and back to the office where her parents were waiting. She was balling and freaking out, ended up puking cause she was so scared and crying. I'm hoping she learned her lesson.

Just some food for thought.

Thanks Clough, I am planning to contact our local juvenile center and will ask if they do conduct such service.

Thanks Chuhuahuamom, I told the police that even though I am furious for what she's been doing at least she is only doing it within the family, cause to tell you frankly I don't how can I handle a situation where cops or neighbors will come over to us to complain about her stealing.

Your welcome, I'm glad that you are on top of this behavior.

Then it's best to get it stopped before it goes any further. You might also want to get her into some counseling. If money might be an issue, then there are many places that offer those services on a sliding fee scale.

I agree, Counseling is a great idea. Finding out why she is acting out and why she is doing this is the best way to nip it in the bud.

Yeah the one program where they cuff the kid and 'show' them what jail is like is called Scared Straight. You can also tell her (if you can back it up) that you are going to start her in counseling to get to the root of the problem if she continues stealing.

Could this be a case of jealousy or something or does she feel left out! Try talking to her,I used to do stupid things when I was that age all I wanted was a bit of attention.Try talking to her and ask her why she's hurting the people she loves,this might work and make her realise that it can't go on.

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Originally Posted by joanne 1986

could this be a case of jealousy or something or does she feel left out! try talking to her,i used to do stupid things when I was that age all i wanted was a bit of attention.Try talking to her and ask her why shes hurting the ppl she loves,this might work and make her realise that it can't go on.

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Those are good points that you have made!

She said she tried giving her more attention.

Chihuahua mom, as my husband and police officer were discussing last night, my husband thought that his ex is the one behind with all of this behavior, of course their mom would not ask her to steal but my step daughter once admit to me that their mom told them not to follow our rules at home, to speak further my step kids use to live with their mom two years ago, the child pretective services told us to keep them cause their step dad has been putting his hands on them, there were allegations of improper touching too. Now we have the girls full custody and my husband's ex is so furious cause she lost the kids and child support. I cannot fully blame my 12 years old cause imagine being on her situation, her real mom telling her this and that and in our house she have to follow a complete different sets of rules. I'm not saying that their mom is a bad person but their parenting skill has been questsioned by the Judge who handle our case that's why we won.

Was she abused by her stepfather? (in response to the allegations) if so this could be the reason whys she's stealing,sometimes when people have been abused they act differently and do thinks that will block out what they have been through! Could this be the case? If so get her some counselling

"it means that I will not speak to her for the mean time."


Even though you must punish her, please do not shut her out, continue to talk to her and show her that you care.
I think counseling is an excellent suggestion not only for her but for the whole family to learn how to deal with what these children have been through. Those children are lucky to have such a caring, understanding step mother.

Yes, she and her younger sister were both victims, and as their parents my husband and I brought them to counselling for months already. I personally think that my 12 years old step daughter behavior now is more on being influenced by their mom, as much as I hate to point fingers. My step kids only see their mom one overnight ( strictly no contact with step dad) and one afternoon a week. I asked them what are they doing when they spend overnight on their mom's house, they told me that their mom do their nails, straighten their hair ( their mom use to work as beautician) and they can basically do what they want to do at home. She is not teaching them on their homeworks, not teaching them to do house chores, and those two things that most kids doesn't want to do but they have to.
In our house we are teaching them responsibility and they cannot watch TV unless homewroks are done. And with all the resistance I can get from them(this is not an easy job)I am more than happy to do it cause I know this is for their own good.

As much as I know how much mother can love her kids, I am very disappointed about their moms action of using the situation to get my step daughter to go against us. I was once a kid too and I will choose a mom that basically allow me to do whatever I want rather than a step mom who's asking me to do this and that.

My stepdaughter told as a hundred times that she wants to move back with her mom, and no matter how much we explain to her that with her stepdad presents there's no way it could happened. She is pushing us to the edge to make us totally get fed up so we will send her back to her mom. She doesn't know I have a looonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrr patience than she knew.