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-   -   Abandonment laws in Mississippi (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=244327)

  • Aug 1, 2008, 05:32 PM
    welchstacy76
    Abandonment laws in Mississippi
    Does anyone know what the abandonment laws are in Mississippi?my 5 year old daughters biological father hasn't seen her since we went to court for custody when she was around a year and a half old. After I left him, he decided to hurt me he would take me to court and sue me for full custody. He was humiliated when the judge ordered full custody to me and supervised visitation for him with the baby for 6 months. I made sure I had all my T's crossed on the day of court, I had pictures of myself taken by a local sheffiffs office the last night I spent with him, I was awaken by him coming in drunk and hitting me closed fist in the forehead at 2 am. In the morning. My lawyer showed these pictures in court and I also had his first exwife as a witness to testify of his repeated pattern of alcohol and violence when they were married. He didn't drink or anything until after our daughter was born, then it started. So not only did he get supervised visitation, after showing the pictures of my busted open forehead all bloody and bruised and swolen, he had supervised visitation with the child for 2 days a week, tues.and thurs. for only 2 hours each visit in front of a family and child counselor appointed by the court. He was also made to pay 260.00 a month in child support, and keep medical insurance on the child and pay for half of all medical bills, schooling,etc. Once we left the courtroom that day, the 41 year old father of my child went home packed his bags and moved out of state with his 18 year old girlfriend and we haven't seen or heard from him since. Not only do I feel like he abandoned our daughter, he had 3 children with his first wife he also left behind. After a year went by, I re-married, and my 5 year old calls my husband "daddy" for he's the only father she's known. He wants to adopt her, so I tried months ago to get in touch with some of his family... I was able to reach his mother and talked to her about the adoption and asked her to talk to him about it, she never contacted me back, so after a week I called her to see if she had talked to him. She said she talked to him about it and he refused to sign away rights, or even speak with me about it. Since court that day he hadn't paid child support or kept insurance on the child or anything... I didn't even try to collect it. After talking to his mother that day, now she has started sending a check wrote out to me for his child support he's suppose to pay. I called her back telling her I didn't want any money for the child, only wanted him to sign away rights so my husband could adopt her. I have not heard a word from any of them... she has had her number changed now. Now where do I go from here? Do I have any grounds for abandonment?
  • Aug 1, 2008, 05:49 PM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by welchstacy76
    does anyone know what the abandonment laws are in mississippi?my 5 year old daughters biological father hasnt seen her since we went to court for custody when she was around a year and a half old. after i left him, he decided to hurt me he would take me to court and sue me for full custody. he was humiliated when the judge ordered full custody to me and supervised visitation for him with the baby for 6 months. i made sure i had all my T's crossed on the day of court, i had pictures of myself taken by a local sheffiffs office the last night i spent with him, i was awaken by him coming in drunk and hitting me closed fist in the forehead at 2 am. in the morning. my lawyer showed these pictures in court and i also had his first exwife as a witness to testify of his repeated pattern of alcohol and violence when they were married. he didnt drink or anything untill after our daughter was born, then it started. so not only did he get supervised visitation, after showing the pictures of my busted open forehead all bloody and bruised and swolen, he had supervised visitation with the child for 2 days a week, tues.and thurs., for only 2 hours each visit in front of a family and child counselor appointed by the court. he was also made to pay 260.00 a month in child support, and keep medical insurance on the child and pay for half of all medical bills, schooling,etc. Once we left the courtroom that day, the 41 year old father of my child went home packed his bags and moved out of state with his 18 year old girlfriend and we havent seen or heard from him since. not only do i feel like he abandoned our daughter, he had 3 children with his first wife he also left behind. after a year went by, i re-married, and my 5 year old calls my husband "daddy" for hes the only father shes known. he wants to adopt her, so i tried months ago to get in touch with some of his family...i was able to reach his mother and talked to her about the adoption and asked her to talk to him about it, she never contacted me back, so after a week i called her to see if she had talked to him. she said she talked to him about it and he refused to sign away rights, or even speak with me about it. since court that day he hadnt paid child support or kept insurance on the child or anything......i didnt even try to collect it. after talking to his mother that day, now she has started sending a check wrote out to me for his child support hes suppose to pay. i called her back telling her i didnt want any money for the child, only wanted him to sign away rights so my husband could adopt her. i have not heard a word from any of them...she has had her number changed now. now where do i go from here? do i have any grounds for abandonment?


    You have asked him to relinquish his rights (through his mother) and he has theoretically said no.

    You cannot strip him of his rights as a father.

    This is not abandonment - he didn't leave the child at a bus stop. The child is with you and he knows the child is being cared for.

    (When you had a child with him did you know he had in theory abandoned his other children?)
  • Aug 1, 2008, 06:38 PM
    welchstacy76
    I call it abandoned... he left state around 4 years ago, has not contacted or tried to see any of his 4 children since then. The other 3 children of his by the first marriage haven't seen or heard from him since then either, this all happened to all of the children at the same time. Some call it abandonment, others call it deadbeat dads, whatever you want to call it, he will never be able to take back the pain and hurt he put his other 3 children through when he left. They were 4, 15,and 17 at the time he left. My daughter was the lucky one, she was only about a year and half old and doesn't remember him or know him.
    Some men are so quick to say they would like to have a child, and sometimes when they have them... they see its not all fun and games anymore and they have responsibilities once the child arrives so a lot of times its just an easier path to take when you turn your back and walk away from it all. The only thing I can say on a possitive note is that I got the best thing out of that man 5 years ago.
  • Aug 1, 2008, 07:01 PM
    ScottGem
    What you want is to terminate his rights to clear the way for your husband to adopt. You have several arguments to support a TPR; Husband wanting to adopt is primary. Lack of contact, not paying support etc. are other points.

    What you need to do is get a lawyer to prepare a petition for your husband to adopt. The lawyer will explain what you need to do to get a TPR. There is no guarantee a judge will grant it if the father shows up to contest it, but if he doesn't you stand a good chance.
  • Oct 22, 2008, 08:47 AM
    jax2002boo
    Comment on JudyKayTee's post
    You are warped!
  • Oct 22, 2008, 08:50 AM
    jax2002boo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    You have asked him to relinquish his rights (through his mother) and he has theoretically said no.

    You cannot strip him of his rights as a father.

    This is not abandonment - he didn't leave the child at a bus stop. The child is with you and he knows the child is being cared for.

    (When you had a child with him did you know he had in theory abandoned his other children?)


    Yes it is abandonment! If a father does not support his child, emotionally or in person, the he has ABANDONED the child.
    You must be a man, because I could never see a woman answering a question like that. Crazy! I am amazed that you could reply like that.
  • Oct 22, 2008, 09:32 AM
    stinawords

    True this is not by law abandonment. What you need to do is exactly what Scott said get a family attorney and have them petition the judge to allow the adoption. The fater will have to be notified so he can show up to court and say "no" at which point you will basically go on about your business like you are right now but you go back to court to have the support order enforced.
  • Oct 22, 2008, 10:38 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo View Post
    Yes it is abandonment!! If a father does not support his child, emotionally or in person, the he has ABANDONED the child.
    You must be a man, because I could never see a woman answering a quetion like that. Crazy!! I am amazed that you could reply like that.


    Jax,

    This is the Family LAW forum. Our answers have to conform to existing law. None of us disagree that a parent that does not support their child has, in the sense of a parental relationship, abandoned that child. But that doesn't mean they have abandoned them according to the law.

    There is a criminal charge of child abandonment. That charge is applicable when a parent leaves a child without any adult supervision. So a parent leaving their child in the care of another parent, is not abandonment.

    Abandonment can also be used as grounds for some other civil action. So one can apply for divorce, custody or termination of rights and cite abandonment as a reason. But a parent who has had little or no contact with a child in the care of the other parent cannot be "charged" with abandonment since it doesn't meet the definition of the criminal charge and since there is no civil action for it.

    So before you attack someone for their response (btw Judy is female). Make sure you understand the context of that response.
  • Oct 22, 2008, 10:49 AM
    jax2002boo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    Jax,

    This is the Family LAW forum. Our answers have to conform to existing law. None of us disagree that a parent that does not support their child has, in the sense of a parental relationship, abandoned that child. But that doesn't mean they have abandoned them according to the law.

    There is a criminal charge of child abandonment. That charge is applicable when a parent leaves a child without any adult supervision. So a parent leaving their child in the care of another parent, is not abandonment.

    Abandonment can also be used as grounds for some other civil action. So one can apply for divorce, custody or termination of rights and cite abandonment as a reason. But a parent who has had little or no contact with a child in the care of the other parent cannot be "charged" with abandonment since it doesn't meet the definition of the criminal charge and since there is no civil action for it.

    So before you attack someone for their response (btw Judy is female). make sure you understand the context of that response.

    Thank you for pointing out to me, first of all that this is a Family LAW Forum, I was very well aware of that. Also, it was a sarcastic remark to 'Judy", as people write in these forums desperate for advice and they receive a answer like she gave. Apologise's to Judy :-)
    I do not wish for any woman to experience a 'so-called-father' hurting his child's feelings and leaving the child and the mother to fend for themselves. To me, that counts as abandonment... maybe not in a LAW term, but in a realistic term. Some people are deceived by the 'sperm donor' and have a child and then get left, while he pusues his 'non-responsible' life.
    Basically, it's a man's world and the law is made to protect the man first and the woman and child second. If it wasn't this way, then women could get sole custody of these poor kids, and not money (that most of them do not need). How much money can you put on a child's head anyway? Why does it have to be about money? It should be on love and support.
    I love forward to another 'copy & paste' reply from you.
  • Oct 22, 2008, 11:43 AM
    ScottGem
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo View Post
    Basically, its a man's world and the law is made to protect the man first and the woman and child second. If it wasnt this way, then women could get sole custody of these poor kids, and not money (that most of them do not need). How much money can you put on a childs head anyway? Why does it have to be about money? It should be on love and support.
    I love forward to another 'copy & paste' reply from you.

    If you were aware this is a LAW forum, then your remarks were, as I pointed out, inappropriate.

    I somewhat disagree with the quoted statements. In some instances, the male does have the upper hand, but I disagree when it comes to child custody issues. A male trying to get custody is generally fighting an uphill battle. We have had many instances of fathers who WANT to be a part of their children's lives, but vindicative mothers do everything in their power to deny visitation and are not called to account by the courts.

    Also, if you read what I said, I'm not saying that a parent that is not a part of their child's life cannot be called to account for it, just that abandonment is not something they could be charged with under those circumstances.

    Finally, I don't understand your "copy and paste" remark. While I do have some canned responses I use, that was not one of them.
  • Oct 22, 2008, 12:40 PM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo View Post
    Thank you for pointing out to me, first of all that this is a Family LAW Forum, I was very well aware of that. Also, it was a sarcastic remark to 'Judy", as people write in these forums desperate for advice and they recieve a answer like she gave. Apologise's to Judy :-)

    You're just kind of all over the place, aren't you? You state that you were "very well aware" that this is a law forum, but criticize Judy for giving straight-forward legal advice, and then turn around and apologize. If the OP was looking for sympathy, then their post doesn't belong on a law forum; it belongs in the family forum.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo
    I do not wish for any woman to experience a 'so-called-father' hurting his childs feelings and leaving the child and the mother to fend for themselves. To me, that counts as abandonment.....maybe not in a LAW term, but in a realistic term. Some people are decieved by the 'sperm donor' and have a child and then get left, while he pusues his 'non-responsible' life.
    Basically, its a man's world and the law is made to protect the man first and the woman and child second.

    Wrong, wrong and wrong! I am a woman, just like Judy, and I would have said the same thing she did. Would you like to talk law protecting women & children last? My parents got divorced when I was a minor; the judge denied my father a guardian ad litem and refused to let my sisters and I testify that we didn't want to spend time with our bi-polar mother who had a long history of verbally and physically abusing us. So please, spare your feminist whining about how we're getting the short end of the deal.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo
    If it wasnt this way, then women could get sole custody of these poor kids, and not money (that most of them do not need). How much money can you put on a childs head anyway? Why does it have to be about money? It should be on love and support.

    That has got to be the most sexist thing I have ever read. You've basically stated that women are the only ones who know how to raise children and that fathers should be cut out of children's lives, completely disregarding multiple studies which have shown that children excel much more when they have both parents present.

    And finally:
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo
    I love forward to another 'copy & paste' reply from you.

    This is rude and uncalled for. Stop posting in a legal forum where you have no knowledge, and then insulting those who do.
  • Sep 9, 2009, 11:20 AM
    jax2002boo
    Yawn yawn yawn... "As always - on target and from the heart (and hip). A good answer to another 1 time poster" I'm not a poster, I am a human... lol. Posters are what you hang on the wall... LOL... hilarious. Jax2002boo, as always, on target...
    Thank you, thank you very much.
  • Sep 9, 2009, 11:44 AM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo View Post
    Yawn yawn yawn...."As always - on target and from the heart (and hip). A good answer to another 1 time poster" I'm not a poster, I am a human...lol. Posters are what you hang on the wall....LOL...hilarious. Jax2002boo, as always, on target....
    Thank you, thank you very much.

    Congratulations. It took you nearly 11 months to come up with that gem of wisdom. We here at AMHD are amused :)
  • Sep 9, 2009, 11:55 AM
    jax2002boo
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by this8384 View Post
    Congratulations. It took you nearly 11 months to come up with that gem of wisdom. We here at AMHD are amused :)

    You guys just couldn't take my first comment and just accept it as a angry persons response. I had replies from people trying to use big words for anyone that doesn't belong to 'their club'.

    Sorry if I offended anyone and sorry I even commented in the first place. I should have known better.

    Wish you all the best of luck... especially the people who don't think they are better than anyone else... take care y'all...

    Deleting username and any association with this site...
  • Sep 9, 2009, 12:37 PM
    this8384
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jax2002boo View Post
    You guys just couldnt take my first comment and just accept it as a angry persons response. I had replies from people trying to use big words for anyone that doesnt belong to 'their club'.

    Sorry if i offended anyone and sorry i even commented in the first place. i should have known better.

    Wish you all the best of luck...especially the people who dont think they are better than anyone else....take care y'all....

    deleting username and any association with this site...

    Once again - you're the victim, everyone else is rude and snobby. It's old.

    This site is to help people, not a blog for and "angry person's response." You're more than welcome to post on the other boards where opinion is okay. Here, we must quote the law. Instead of admitting your fault, you argued with people who have extensive knowledge of the law, then proceeded to come back and mock them nearly a year later. After that, you continued to imply that you had been treated unfairly, which is the complete opposite of what happened.

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