I have been married for about 2 1/2 years. I have a 18month old and I am 5 months pregnant. Me and my husband can't even talk to each other with out fighting. He's 35 and Im 20. He says I have a bad attitude because I can't stand his family, his drinking, and the fact that he will pay attation to every other woman but me. He says he will never change and will always pick his family over me. ( druged me our first x-mas so he could go drink with his brothers) It's his way or the highway, yet I always put up with everything. I am a stupid b**** and don't deserve to have an oppion on anything in our life. I f I don't do what he wants when he wants it is always a fight. I can't even remember why I married him and really wonder if I ever loved him. Should I stay or should I go?:confused:

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Originally Posted by fallingapart20

I have been married for about 2 1/2 years. I have a 18month old and i am 5 months preg. Me and my husband can't even talk to each other with out fighting. He's 35 and Im 20. He says i have a bad attitude because i can't stand his family, his drinking, and the fact that he will pay attation to every other woman but me. He says he will never change and will always pick his family over me. ( druged me our first x-mas so he could go drink with his brothers) It's his way or the highway, yet i always put up with everything. I am a stupid b**** and don't deserve to have an oppion on anything in our life. I f I don't do what he wants when he wants it is always a fight. I can't even remember why i married him and really wonder if i ever loved him. Should I stay or should i go?:confused:

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Are you better with him or without him.

That's step number one.

Counselling for either both of you or you alone is never a bad idea.

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Originally Posted by fallingapart20

I have been married for about 2 1/2 years. I have a 18month old and i am 5 months preg. Me and my husband can't even talk to each other with out fighting. He's 35 and Im 20. He says i have a bad attitude because i can't stand his family, his drinking, and the fact that he will pay attation to every other woman but me. He says he will never change and will always pick his family over me. ( druged me our first x-mas so he could go drink with his brothers) It's his way or the highway, yet i always put up with everything. I am a stupid b**** and don't deserve to have an oppion on anything in our life. I f I don't do what he wants when he wants it is always a fight. I can't even remember why i married him and really wonder if i ever loved him. Should I stay or should i go?:confused:

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Do what your heart tells you to do. If you feel you can't make it work then do what you need to do. Marriage counseling is also an option unless of course he objects to going with you. I do know that in some states you are required to go to a class for divorcing couples with children, if you choose to go that route. I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you and your husband can get things worked out.

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Originally Posted by Miller11

Do what your heart tells you to do. If you feel you can't make it work then do what you need to do. Marriage counseling is also an option unless of course he objects to going with you. I do know that in some states you are required to go to a class for divorcing couples with children, if you choose to go that route. I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you and your husband can get things worked out.

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Sometimes going to counselling by yourself gives a clear perspective as well as strength -

I wouldn't wait for him to decide he wants to go - because I don't think he'll ever make that choice (from what you've said).

A 15 year difference in ages in quite striking given you're only 20 now. You are still a young woman - he's approaching middle age at 35. You two are worlds apart in what you think and like.

Please don't stay with him as you won't be doing yourself any good. Try and find a job after you give birth or go live with your parents until you give birth and then get get a job. You've just started living your adult life. If he drinks and intentionally drugs you, you don't need him.

I think that you should pray for your husband, God heals all wounds. He is a little too aware of the age difference, he talks down to you and your feelings don't matter. I was personally in the same situation, me and my husband are separated today. In a relationship you have to have a voice or it makes you feel like you are in a corner. Then you start to have all these things you want to say bottled up and it makes you crazy. Eventually you are going to explode on your husband and something bad will happen. As women we have a urge to be heard and listened to. Im not a big person on divorce but you need to find some strength within yourself to stand up for yourself. Its only going to get ugly.

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Originally Posted by cat_eyes21

I think that you should pray for your husband, God heals all wounds. He is a little too aware of the age difference, he talks down to you and your feelings don't matter. I was personally in the same exact situation, me and my husband are separated today. In a relationship you have to have a voice or it makes you feel like you are in a corner. Then you start to have all these things you want to say bottled up and it makes you crazy. Eventually you are going to explode on your husband and something bad will happen. As women we have a urge to be heard and listened to. Im not a big person on divorce but you need to find some strength within yourself to stand up for yourself. Its only going to get ugly.

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I'm confused - you've also posted that you are pregnant by your boyfriend, you refer to your ex-husband in other posts - as well as a multitude of other concerns and problems.

I'm not sure where you're coming from.

Can you see yourself with out him? If your not happy I think you should leave. When you get married its suppose to be a two way relationship. Not everything his way so he can be happy.what about your happyness.think about your kids seeing you unhappy eveyday would you want them to think its OK to stay in an unhappy relationship

It is a good thing that you are thinking about yourself, and your young child, and the one on the way. Their future should be front and centre here, and you are already raising one in a very unhealthy place.

I don't think his age has anything to do with it. His maturity level, and commitment to you doesn't seem to be there.

Not to mention that he DRUGGED you, which you casually mentioned. In my opinion, that alone is enough to get out of town on the first train. What kind of person does that to another... I won't go there, except I can say that if that happened to me, he would be in jail right now.

He has already told you he is set in his ways. He will put his family, his drinking and his friends before his obligation to you and your children. I suspect that you won't get a lot of support from his family.

Do you have family nearby? Is it possible for you to go and stay with them to have a break from your husband? I suspect that there has been more abuse than just the arguing. It might be time to take a good hard look at your life, and figure out what you want to do. Especially in light of him not wanting to even consider changing.

An exit strategy is probably a good idea.

This thread is from April 2008.