Ask Me Help Desk - Pregnant and so upset

So if you have read my last post... I was waiting to see if I am pregnant... well I am... I am happy cause I always wanted another child... I was questioning abortion because I have raised my 4 year old son basically on my own and have been in this abusive relationship with my child's dad for a good 10 years. Now I'm pregnant again, I don't want an abortion, I'm going to keep it. I'll do it on my own, I know I can, I've done it already with my 4 year old... My sons dad, now is telling me not to have it, after all this time he wanted one( so he told me anyway) and now that I am again, he's telling me not to have it. Im not going to listen to him, I will make my own descion because just like our first son, he never raised him with me or lived with me, or even cared for that matter, he just cared to be abusive to me and to cheat on me constantly and go about life like his son never really existed until he has a moment when suddenly he cares for some reason... He says he loves me, but I know he doesn't or he wouldn't be abusive to me and treat me this way... so now that I'm pregnant again I'm left alone to raise my second child... I think I'm going to end it off with him for good now... I really can't take the hurt he is putting me threw. I am stuck in another problem on top of all this now, cause my parents had helped me out so much... now to tell them that I'm a single mom again pregnant with my second child they are going to be so mad... maybe even kick me out of the place they helped with to raise my son... im so scared to tell them cause they don't like the dad at all, so tell them that I'm having another baby they are going to freak out on me... how would you guys tell your parents, if you are already a single mom and now having another?

Quote:

Originally Posted by tjnn

So if you have read my last post....I was waiting to see if I am pregnant...well I am....I am happy cause I always wanted another child....I was questioning abortion because I have raised my 4 year old son basically on my own and have been in this abusive relationship with my childs dad for a good 10 years. Now im pregnant again, I dont want an abortion, im going to keep it. I'll do it on my own, I know I can, i've done it already with my 4 year old.....My sons dad, now is telling me not to have it, after all this time he wanted one( so he told me anyway) and now that I am again, hes telling me not to have it. Im not going to listen to him, I will make my own descion because just like our first son, he never raised him with me or lived with me, or even cared for that matter, he just cared to be abusive to me and to cheat on me constantly and go about life like his son never really existed until he has a moment when suddenly he cares for some reason........He says he loves me, but I know he doesnt or he wouldnt be abusive to me and treat me this way.....so now that im pregnant again im left alone to raise my second child....I think im going to end it off with him for good now...I really can't take the hurt he is putting me threw. I am stuck in another problem on top of all this now, cause my parents had helped me out so much....now to tell them that im a single mom again pregnant with my second child they are going to be so mad.....maybe even kick me out of the place they helped with to raise my son....im so scared to tell them cause they dont like the dad at all, so tell them that im having another baby they are going to freak out on me.....how would you guys tell your parents, if you are already a single mom and now having another?

I would tell them the truth and quickly before the hear it from somebody else. It's really too late for much else in the area of discussion -

I trust your boyfriend is not abusive to your child - ?

I was sacred to tell my mom about my first one telling her I was pregnant again would be disappointing to her. They help me raise my daughter as well cause her father did us the same way your ex did. There your parents they might be a little mad and disappointed but I'm sure they love you more then anything and your children. Tell them now and be honest, you can't chance you kids around that man if he is abusive with you, I'm sure you parents would help as much as they can. 10 years you need to get out of that and stay away from him regardless if he's your kids dad. Tell them everything, I hope everything goes OK, congrats and good luck.

I haven't been in your shoes, so I can't offer any good advice. However, I want you to know that you're right to leave him and I hope you do so immediately.
Your parents may very well be upset, but the truth should come out sooner rather than later.

I'll be thinking of you, I hope all goes well.

I agree that it is right to leave him. He is a role model to your son, and I know you don't want your son to grow up and treat women the way he treats you. But, this is EXACTLY what he is learning.

Also remember that your son needs a mother, as well as your unborn child. What should happen to your son if this jerk goes over the limit one day?

Children's minds are sponges. They learn from what they witness. If your son has witnessed this abuse, and you continue to stay in the situation, he learns that it is okay to treat women this way. If he hasn't witnessed the abuse, children are VERY sensitive to feelings. Believe it or not, he knows what is going on, and he is learning that this is normal behavior.