My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. He moved 3 hours away from his hometown (his family, friends, and most importantly his son) to be with me. Throughout our relationship we have had our ups and downs (which I have previously posted about), but have ended up sticking together.

However, he recently quit his job for a new one, then the new job fell through and he is stuck living with a crappy roommate and very few friends. The only reason he still lives in this city is because of me and I feel awful. I know that he made the decision to come here, but I practically forced him to do it (I realize now that it was selfish and unfair of me). Anyway, he told me he felt depressed today and I stopped by to see him. I had a feeling that he was thinking about if moving back to his hometown would make him happier... and he was.

I can completely understand if he wants to move back. He's 25, his son is only 2, and I am 21 with four more years of college/graduate school to go before I will be ready to move to his city with him, get married and have kids of my own. In a way, I wouldn't be mad at all, and when I think about it now I can deal with the situation understandingly. But I just know that if it comes down to it and he moves away, I will be devastated. I don't want to go on without him in my life, but I know that the only way for me to be able to move on is if I don't talk to him. I want him to be there for his son and to be happy with all of his friends and family around, and the only reason he is still here is me. I told him I would support him in whatever he decided, and I have told him many times before that if he wanted to move back, I would understand, but now the reality of it possibly happening scares me to death. I guess, at least we aren't parting on bad terms, but then it would be easier to not talk to him! How do I deal with this?

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Originally Posted by djbowens

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. He moved 3 hours away from his hometown (his family, friends, and most importantly his son) to be with me. Throughout our relationship we have had our ups and downs (which I have previously posted about), but have ended up sticking together.

However, he recently quit his job for a new one, then the new job fell through and he is stuck living with a crappy roommate and very few friends. The only reason he still lives in this city is because of me and I feel awful. I know that he made the decision to come here, but I practically forced him to do it (I realize now that it was selfish and unfair of me). Anyway, he told me he felt depressed today and I stopped by to see him. I had a feeling that he was thinking about if moving back to his hometown would make him happier... and he was.

I can completely understand if he wants to move back. He's 25, his son is only 2, and I am 21 with four more years of college/graduate school to go before I will be ready to move to his city with him, get married and have kids of my own. In a way, I wouldn't be mad at all, and when I think about it now I can deal with the situation understandingly. But I just know that if it comes down to it and he moves away, I will be devastated. I don't want to go on without him in my life, but I know that the only way for me to be able to move on is if I don't talk to him. I want him to be there for his son and to be happy with all of his friends and family around, and the only reason he is still here is me. I told him I would support him in whatever he decided, and I have told him many times before that if he wanted to move back, I would understand, but now the reality of it possibly happening scares me to death. I guess, at least we aren't parting on bad terms, but then it would be easier to not talk to him! How do I deal with this?

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Like they say if you love him you'll let him go, and if it's meant to be you to will reunite. Just let what's going to be.

You need to find out where his head is at, if he wants to stay or not. Then decide if this relationship is what you truly want, you're young so you will bounce back from heartbreak I'm sure of it

Update:

So he told me today that he would be moving back home on Thursday. It's only Saturday, so I guess that gives me about 4 days to say goodbye... It's really hard because everything is so awkward between us. Neither of us really wants him to go back, but we both know it would be in the best interest of his son and he would be a lot happier since he will have his family & friends around. I just don't really know how to deal with this at all. I love him, and I'll let him go and that's fine, but what do I do until he leaves? It's too depressing to be around him, but I want every minute I can have with him until he leaves. I just feel so lost and confused, happy and sad all at the same time. This sucks.

I can understand your feelings. It will hurt for a while, but you both will get busy, building and dealing with, your own lives, and seeking your own happiness. Your human, and it will hurt for a while, but you both will cope with it.

Thank you all for all of your help. I really appreciate it.

Second Update:

So he moved back yesterday and I spoke with him a few times. However, I haven't heard from him since. I tried calling him a few times today, but no return calls. I got a message from him around 8pm saying "i miss you so much" and when I tried to call, no one answered. I sent one back saying "really? then why have you been ignoring me all day?" Then I got a message that said "yeah really. who the hell r u?" and I responded with "who is this?" and then I got a reply saying "who the hell is baby? u? i'm not gonna answer the phone i am going to sell it" (he has me stored as baby in his phone). So I responded with "so you stole the phone, you ***hole?" and I got another reply saying "your daddy. now the phone goes off." I have tried calling again, but I still get no answer, however the phone continues to ring.

So I am curious as to what you all think about this... I am hoping that someone really stole his phone... but then when they said "your daddy" - it's just odd to me because my mother passed away a few years ago, and why would someone say "your daddy."?? I would just think that if his phone was stolen, he would have called me from someone else's phone to tell me that. I just know him better than this and I don't think he would act so childish, if it really was him. But then again, if he was in jail, or in a hospital, I would think he would have someone call me to let me know that. I don't know what to think. I don't want to worry about him, but I don't know what else to do? Any suggestions?

Let him call you. There's nothing else you can do really.