Wondering if anyone out there has been in this situation and has any advice for me... any help or words of incouragement would be greatly appreciated. Me and my husband of 3 years would like to start adoption papers where he can adopt my daughter which is 5. her father hasn't seen her or attempted to see her or contact her since she was 2, when he seen her then it was through a councelor appointed by the judge for 2 days a week for 2 hours each visit, he went for the first couple of appointments then moved out of state with his 18 year old girlfriend, he was 41 at the time. In the past 3 years we haven't heard from him or any of his family. I have been told I could terminate his parental rights on account of abandonment laws. Does anyone know anything that could help me on this?

Get a lawyer.

I doubt abandonment is enough to terminate his rights. I bet, though, that if you pressed for back child support that he would HAPPILY sign over his rights so that your husband can adopt. You do need him to sign away his rights, or at least make the attempt. A lawyer will be able to tell you what is needed for a good faith attempt.

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Originally Posted by welchstacy76

wondering if anyone out there has been in this situation and has any advice for me...any help or words of incouragement would be greatly appreciated. me and my husband of 3 years would like to start adoption papers where he can adopt my daughter which is 5. her father hasnt seen her or attempted to see her or contact her since she was 2, when he seen her then it was through a councelor appointed by the judge for 2 days a week for 2 hours each visit, he went for the first couple of appointments then moved out of state with his 18 year old girlfriend, he was 41 at the time. in the past 3 years we havent heard from him or any of his family. i have been told i could terminate his parental rights on account of abandonment laws. does anyone know anything that could help me on this?

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Sorry about the situation I really feel for your child more than anyone else. First of all you can go to legal aid and find out what legal rights he as the biological father has and you as the mother. I've been in a similar situation so that's where I went and legal aid told me that I have to go through what is called a full custodial battle with this guy. And you have to bring proof that you have been the only one providing for this child along with your new husband. After you go through court he will be forced to pay child support and if he dosen't want to be a part of your child's life then he can give up his parental rights, other wise he will be made to make child support payments along with visitation. If visitation is an inconvinence for him which, it sounds like the gas will get a little expensive for him so more than likely he won't be able to afford child support , his bills and the gas to and from the visitation cite near you and your child. So, his new 18 year old girlfriend is going to dump him he is going to lose his child and be left to rot like any piece of garbage that abandons his child. So, good luck and fight to get full custody of your child because , if you don't whenever this guty feels like coming in and out of your child's life he can legally do so if his parental rights are not taken away from him. And if you have any proof of violence or abuse in your relationship in the past with this guy then get proof, medical or police reports that can prove that he is a bad parent to be around your child. Get as much evidence as you can and take it to a lawyer. Good Luck! My prayers are with you and your child, God Bless!

Sorry, what happens is you have to contact him and ask his permission. If he does not, but also does not respond at all, and does not fight, then it is possible that the court may award.

In almost no place does merely not seeing the children or een not paying chid suport give grounds to take away rights

Thanks for the advice, I'm going to talk to a lawyer soon about the steps I need to take to start this process. I believe it'll all work out for the best, god takes care of the ones that try to do right and especially inosent children.