Ask Me Help Desk - What could be missing?

So last night my boyfriend and I were texting and he asked how happy I was with him on a scale of 1 to 10. I told him a 9.99 because his moods are really unpredictable. One minute he'll be laughing and fine and the next he's in a bad mood.

So then he said "10...I think"

He then said "I feel like something is missing, but I can't pin-point it.

He's talked to me recently about feeling sad because he wants to live with me and come home to someone every night, so that could be it, but I really think its something coming from inside of him.

And I know you guys don't know him from adam, but when someone says that something is missing, what might it be?

This is only my 2nd relationship ever, so I'm unsure how to deal. Part of me wants to run and part of me wants to figure it out.

Any help is appreciated!

Only he can answer that question hunnie. It could be any number of things,no one knows unless you ask him personally

The s* has hit the fan this morning because of this.

He said he doesn't like that I don't tell my mom when he's there (its my apartment, my phone bill I'll say whatever I want.) but I don't say he's not. I just don't mention him, but I go into the other room to talk to her because he will interrupt me when I'm on the phone and I hate that. He doesn't like my mom and he's made that very clear since the 2nd time he's met her. Also he said he doesn't think I love him. He says he "can tell I love him by my actions and my words, but sometimes when he looks into my eyes he can't see it".

Then there is the part of religion. I it truly bothers him that we're different religions, but he makes a big deal about it and I don't. But given me having to choose my religion over him, I'd choose my religion. This also bothers my mom and whenever I mention my boyfriend she goes off about it.

He asked me if I could deal with him and my mom not getting along if we had kids. He says he wouldn't let the kids see her because of the religion factor. This started to bother me. He's said before I could raise them as my religion and if they decided they did not want to, then we'd go from there, so I thought he was fine with this.

Now he says "Me and Katie (his sister) were talking about you this morning. She was worried about my status on myspace so I started explaining about your mom and your religion."

I'm at a loss now. These have been 2 of the worst days (yesterday my brand new wok exploded in flames and I burnt my hand pretty bad, he didn't really care. He just said sorry it happened.)

He might be looking for a way out. If this religion thing is a problem, then you might have a tought decision to make, stay or go but don't settle.

Sounds like you need to stop seeing eachother now. Sorry.
(i am not usually so blunt :-)

You are young and this ain't working.

Just because you are intimate does not mean you have a love that will last.

No one tells the whole story the first time they post, but after being on here a while you can read some of the codes. You took time to reach out for help - and you don't want a dramatic ending - but I got to say - I don't think this is the guy for you, and you can do better.

c'mon mood swings so much that you walk on egg shells?

No way... time to do the tough thing.

Prepare for a change.

ps - what is your religion as compared to his?

I think you have a lot more to learn about this fellow, so keep it slow, and keep him talking. No need to push, or trip.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash123

[B]ps - what is your religion as compared to his?[/U]

I think he's kind of in limbo, he doesn't go to church unless he's in Alabama and goes to a baptist church with his family there. Here he doesn't go, he just thinks he's got to have his 2 cents on every religion. He went to a catholic school, doesn't believe that either. He's always questioning god and creation and evolution and all that fun stuff.

I'm a Jehovah's Witness. He says it doesn't bother him that I'm that but if we had kids he wouldn't want me to have any influence on their religion.
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I feel as though he's pushing me away. Tal, you're right. I do have a lot to learn about him. I thought I new things. But lately everything has changed. He's been acting really weird.

Background: We were best friends for a little over a year before we got together. Then we got together and everything was fine up until about a month ago when I got my own apartment. After that happened he whines more about spending time with me (he wants more time than I feel like giving) and this weekend it just felt like he was trying to get me to end it. And when I almost did, he cried and said "I'm so afraid you'll leave me."

He has 3 issues with me: 1. The fact that I spend time with my parents 2. My independence 3. My religion. He said he can get over the first two. He said he can't get over the third, so I told him he either has to deal with it or find someone else. He didn't want to do that.

Every single conversation he's started with me this weekend has led to a fight, though. Is it possible he wants out, but doesn't want to hurt me? Or he wants out but at the same time he doesn't?

I think your BF sounds OK to me.

But your lives are too complicated / different to easily join together.

I think its good that he questions things and you should too.

When you are older you can make decisions based on all you've learned.

He's OK, he's just letting the little things bother him and trying to change me. I'm not that young. I've been stuck in my single ways for many years. I can't just change my independence and be suddenly dependent and wanting to spend every minute with him.

He questions things that are stupid. Questioning things are good. But when you question if your girlfriend loves you because she spends a healthy amount of time by herself and ask questions like "oh, you want me to let you know when I'm there so you can get your lover out before I show up?" That's not a good healthy relationship.

The last 9 months of our relationship were great. It just started to hit the fan when I moved into my own apartment all by myself...

He wants to change you... don't get too interested in him until you can work out the problems and he can accept you for you.