Ask Me Help Desk - Mum gives me no space

hi

I am 17 and mum just won't leave me alone. She randomly 'cleans' my room (and makes all my schoolwork more disorganised that it already was), I know it's nice (but I don't like it), but she does not leave me alone about anything. What can I do? She knows that she is being annoying (and my older siblings agree). Any suggestions would be great :)

Have you been doing anything lately to cause her concern? Be honest. ;) If not, why don't you just ask her if you can sit down for a talk with you and your other siblings, and ask her why she goes through your things. Maybe she is worried about you, maybe not, but ask her to trust you, and then earn her trust, so she doesn't feel like she needs to go through your things. Maybe it's just a case of not enough communication, so she feels like she has to snoop, just to make sure you are safe. I'm sure if you convince her (and mean it) that you have nothing to hide, she would lay off a bit. :)

I've got two 15 year olds and I know you have to give them space but your mum could be concerned about something or just in general. It's hard being a mum of teens but in all fairness you really don't know what they're doing.
My kids are very open with me and I don't feel I have to invade any of their privicy. I only ever threaten to tidy their rooms if they don't tidy it themselves.

If you'd try telling her it would be a lot easier and plus you can move out in a year high five for you buddy

Go into your room and clean it yourself, YOUR way, but clean it/organize it with your mother in mind.

You already know what she's moving that messes you up, so organize that FIRST into a way she can't mess up. Get a homework "box" and put all your homework in there, close the lid.

If you can't stop the cleaning machine that is your mother, you can help by heading her off at the pass and making it harder for her to "clean" your room into frustration. Do it ahead of her and rethink the items in your room you need tighter control over. You can figure this out. Give it a shot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Go into your room and clean it yourself, YOUR way, but clean it/organize it with your mother in mind.

You already know what she's moving that messes you up, so organize that FIRST into a way she can't mess up. Get a homework "box" and put all your homework in there, close the lid.

If you can't stop the cleaning machine that is your mother, you can help by heading her off at the pass and making it harder for her to "clean" your room into frustration. Do it ahead of her and rethink the items in your room you need tighter control over. You can figure this out. Give it a shot.

What I wouldn't do for my mom to come over and clean my room! JB is right. Organize your things, and clean it yourself. Trust me, I'm sure your mother would rather be doing other things. Like picking up your clothes that she bought that are on your bedroom floor, washing them, cooking your breakfast, lunch and dinner, paying the bills so you don't have to eat by candlelight, mowing the yard, taking out the garbage, filling the car with gas that costs $100 bucks a gallon, paying your school fees so you actually have homework to do,. well I could go on for a page in a half. Mothers do a lot honey! Dare I say... suck it up? If you have a few things like a diary that you want to be kept private... put it away, and keep your own room clean!! Problem solved!

Thanks for all these great answers :)
I have a homework box and it is great, but I told her not to reorganize that and she still did it...
The thing is, when I say she goes through everything, I mean EVERYTHING. I try to hide my diary and things like that in places like behind my bookshelf, under my bed (between the matress and the bottom of it), at the bottom of my drawers underneath everything, but she still finds it and goes through it all...
I talked to her about it, and now she doesn't do it as often (but she still does it). It doesn't make sense, my room is always tidy (except when I am in a bad mood), but she still feels the need to go through it all. Oh well... thanks for all the answers :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Millydogz

thanks for all these great answers :)
i have a homework box and it is great, but i told her not to reorganize that and she still did it...
the thing is, when i say she goes through everything, i mean EVERYTHING. i try to hide my diary and things like that in places like behind my bookshelf, under my bed (between the matress and the bottom of it), at the bottom of my drawers underneath everything, but she still finds it and goes through it all...
i talked to her about it, and now she doesn't do it as often (but she still does it). it doesn't make sense, my room is always tidy (except when i am in a bad mood), but she still feels the need to go through it all. oh well... thanks for all the answers :)

I understand that it can get really frustrating. Everyone deserves a little bit of privacy. I'm glad she is not doing it as often, but I guess you might just have to suffer through it. I used to hate it when my mom did it too, but there wasn't a lot I could do, but find better hiding spots for my diary. ;) At least you are doing your homework, which is a bonus! :)