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-   -   I have trouble dealing with people (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=243567)

  • Jul 30, 2008, 07:21 PM
    lost??
    I have trouble dealing with people
    Ever since I have been little I've always been shy, and I guess through the years its gotten worse to the point where if it is possible, I avoid social situations. It's really starting to affect me at work. I'm especially bad at dealing with new people. But then again some new people I am fine with. In many cases when I am in a social situation that I am uncomfortable with, my body gets really hot even though I know the room is a normal temperature and I start sweating uncontrolably. The sweating gets even worse when I know other people can notice it. My face sometimes blushes too. It's really starting to have a negative impact on my life. I know the feelings are irrational but I still get them. It's caused fights with my girlfriend when I don't want to go to parties or bars, etc and its starting to have a very negative impact on me at work as well. I also always have the feeling that I never have anything to say or run out of things to talk about in conversation which makes moments very awkward at times. I've thought maybe I have social anxity disorder but I'm not sure. I guess I have OK self-confidence, like I know I am smart and good at what I do, but I worry about what others think about me a lot of the time. I just kind of want to feel normal again and be able to go places and not worry about the anxity and sweating. Anyone ever have experiences like this and have any advice? Thanks
  • Jul 30, 2008, 09:31 PM
    cowandchicken
    I know how you feel. I am just like that except instead of sweating my body gets stiff and fidgity and I get nervous and worried for no reason at all. Sometimes my heart beats really fast. It's really stressful to be around lots of people specially in groups. I am diagnosed with anxiety disorder so maybe that is what you have. It really stops you from living life like I you would like to. I mostly stay bored at home because I'd rather not have to deal with all the feelings. I am on medication but that doesn't help. People have also suggested breathing exercises and meditation.
  • Jul 31, 2008, 01:04 AM
    Clough
    It sounds to me like you might be prone to anxiety attacks. I have had them for years. But, what I have found has helped me, was to get involved as much as possible being in front of people and also being a leader of people. I still have the anxiety attacks, but they are much less now because I have tried my hardest to overcome them and know that I can be successful in dealing with people because I have already had success. But, it did take a number of times being unsuccessful to have the successful times. No one is perfect, but the best that we can do is try and try. Really, the only true failure is when a person fails to try.

    If you think that you might have some sort of anxiety disorder, then, depending on you financial situation, there are many places that offer treatment on a sliding fee scale where you might only have to pay very little or even nothing at all.

    You can turn scars into stars, but it's a matter of the choices that a person makes as to whether that will happen or not.
  • Aug 1, 2008, 01:34 PM
    Choux
    Just some personal reflections. I was extremely, painfully shy in high school.

    I was able to work through it over the years so that I could function well in the business world and socially.

    At that time people didn't take any medication for being shy... a person can work through it! Guaranteed!

    Get a book on how to overcome shyness and do all the exercises. Pretty soon you will be forgetting all about yourself and putting yourself out there. :)

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