Ask Me Help Desk - My mum hates me.

So.. I'm really sad and angry.
My mom spends all day talking bad about me and even makes fun of me in front of others in fact I don't have friends except one girl who understands me. My mom doesn't give me any money in weekends and she says that everybody does it if children don't work in home. It is true that I don't help in housework because when I tried to clean the floor she said that I messed it all up and it was better if she did it. When I try to help her a little she keeps adding more work so I don't want to help her. Now mothers are telling her not to buy me clothes etc. I am really angry because they are bringing her more against me! She spends all day yelling about the things I do wrong... like not putting my shoes in place etc and the thing is that if my sister doesn't put her shoes in place she tell her nothing. She just hate me and she adores my sister. I don't know why because I do well in school and get home at the time she tells me. Can somebody tell me what to do?

If you can't/won't continue to work it through in the household, you'll have to start practicing now to fend for yourself. If working around the house only results in arguments, frustration and mom still isn't happy, then you'll need to show her you can work reliably another way.

Get a job outside the house. If she won't take you to work, get a bike. Just stop letting things stand in your way. If you need something, work for it on your own and buy it.

That's the way the world works. If mom is being a bear, it could be a different kind of blessing in disguise... you may develop some independence and resourcefulness you might not have otherwise.

I know it's frustrating. If it can't be fixed WITH mom, fix it without her. Do it yourself. It's the same amount of work, but I promise you paychecks will have a LOT more money in them than mom would be handing out.

You win this way, today and later.

How old are you?
What do you mean Now mothers are telling her not to buy me clothes etc. I am really angry because they are bringing her more against me!
Why would they do that?

Try doing the things she doesn't criticize you for
Like making sure your shoes and other things are put away, put your dirty dishes in the sink, keep up on your personal responsibilities, run the sweeper, dust and whatever you can't possibly mess up.
When you do do something that she criticizes ask her how do you do it the right way.
Like what does she claim is wrong with the kitchen floor? Did you use too much cleaner and not rinse it and then it was sticky for the cleaner?

I know it is really crummy when a parent favors one and treats the other bad but there really isn't much you can do about it sometimes.

Do you have a dad?

I'm 15 so I can't go to work yet. I have a dad but he just says nothing or says she is right.

Can you offer to do things for neighbors like babysitting or walking their dog?

My mum would tell me you don't work here so how you're going to work for others? Except that you don't find a lot of people wanting a babysitter or people who walk their dogs today... at least at my country.

That's true I know moms like that.

My mom is still like that and I've been working steadily for the last 8 years without calling in sick. Just moved into my own apartment and she says it'll be the messiest place ever. Although, she's the messy one and I'm the clean one (when we were living together) there was just no pleasing her.

Sometimes parents just look for things to complain about, no matter what.

Nohelp makes a really good point about asking her what you can do to do it right when she criticizes you. Make it a point to have everything put away. And then when you're old enough to work, go get a job so you can get out of the house.

I promise you one thing, if you assume there are no jobs for you just because your 15, and then don't look because of your assumption... you definitely WON'T find any work. 100% guaranteed.

Forget what you think, go do WORK to look for job. For now, that IS your job, to find a job. Look in places out of the ordinary, a local nursery or farm, whatever. Don't make your own truth here, look.

Is there a nursing home near you that you could see if you could help out at a little bit?
What can your mom say if you are helping elderly people.
Also if you offer her some of what you make it might help her not be so down on you making money outside the house when you don't at home.
Plus of course too, do try and do things around the house that she doesn't complain about.
I know moms can be like that. I would clean the entire house once a week and all my mom would do when she got home was say you left a dirty glass on the sink and she knew that I always used the same glass throughout the day instead of keeping washing it and putting it away and getting it back out a hundred times a day.
I am 53 and she still criticizes the way I do things.

I am not sure where you live, but I live in Canada and my first job was at Subway and I was 15 Although my mom had to sign for a SSN for me, I was still able to work. What about being a dishwasher at a hotel or restaurant?

You should communicate with her more

Wow you think your moms mean, my mom has tried to kill me, she remindeds me daily about how much she hates me and only is nice to me when I have no one to run to. She hears me cry sometimes and doeasn't even bother to knock on my bedroom door to see if I'm okay or if I would like to talk about it. I'm only 16 years old, I know she might have loved me at a point in life but it seems to me that it was true love but I'm gessing it's just because she was a loving mother at one point in life but not anymore, she just is lonely an used me for the attention she doesn't get. She is a single mom and had been ever since my dad moved on/ I love her with my life but it's getting to the point when I can just look into her eyes and say I don't care about what you have to say, because every chance she gets she looks down at me. I wish I was 18 for I could move in to my own place. My grades in school right now are not good, what so ever, but how can I focus on school when I have family issues, my brothers are in and out of jail yearly and my sister Didn't finish high school, same goes for my 3 blood brothers. I'm the youngest child. She gets really violent sometimes, I hold her back when I can but then she just digs her nails into my skin till it starts bleeding BADDDDlly:l but it doesn't hurt me at all, I just wish I didn't have to live with her, I don't have any other place to live because my hole family is just plain stupid. I can't wait for I can leave this crazy house :) And believe me when I say I give them so much love and respect and it's like they just feed of it for later. The only way I don't show respect is when they give me no choice other than to speak the truth about them, and they say the truth hurts, for example I tell me mom that I can't love someone that doesn't respect me. But I do love everyone! I just say that to get her to understand that I'm not a little gil anymore and she can't keep hurting me like when I was to young to defend myself physically and emotionally. I'm turning 18 in march 2013, I have no choice but to look at the bright side of life and smile and prove everyone that has ever doughted me, wrong! I have friends that care about me and they make super great friends and I thank god that I have them. They help me forget about what's waitig for me whwn I get home. I write this because even though you seem to be hurting I'm telling you, be strong, and stand up for yourself because thiers only one of you and you're the one getting hurt, stand up for yourself and make everyday wirth living<3 Love is in the air now is the time to breath it in:) I rather look like I'm happy then let them win by giving them the chance to see me down. If they cared they would have not let me suffer this long. Love is in the air<3

I'm so sorry:(
My mom always hated me!
She is yelling at me every day,she says hurtfull things but what she doesn't understand is that I am the only one in the family that helps her,I always cook,clean and babysit my younger brothers,she never says thank you,she always finds something bad that I did and yells at me about that
I am 13 years old and she acts like I am a 20 year old women,who has to do everything!
I don't have a good childhood I am always dipressed and I always cry myself to sleep
My dad is the only one that supports me and loves me
My parents are always talking about divorcing,so when they do I will go to my dad and finally have a good life:)

If anyone is going through the same thing as me ,this is my email: (removed for privacy)
So email me if you want guys:)
-Sarah

Quote:

Originally Posted by Myhearthasgone

I'm 15 so I can't go to work yet. I have a dad but he just says nothing or says she is right.

I am 15 I work 2 jobs and do chores for my mum you can get a job if you tried you could try the paperound for starters there's always little jobs like making cup of teas in the hairdressers doing washing up in a café. Those kind of things most my friends have jobs too and there either only just 15 or are still 14, if you want ajob go and look for one.