I slept with my best friend, I feel terrible
Hi,
In last few months I have great, perfect, awesome, best friendship with one girl. She is ex of my ex-best-friend and I'm ex of her best friend. So this is our love circle. And by the way, we are in the same class. We used to talk about EVERYTHING.
Last night we were drinking at my place, after a few hours we were drunk and than things started. We were in pyjamas. After massages, talk and usual drunk flirting she put down her shoulder straps of her top cause she don't like it.
Before this we didn't have any problem with kissing our backs or something cute like that, that was our "close-friends-thing".
So we started to do our "friends-thingy" and then her top was a bit under her nipples... So we started to f*** each other and after few minutes she found her mind (at least someone was a bit responsible) and stopped that mess. One problem is that we didn't use condom but I did not came so it's less probable that something happened. Than we were laying down for a few minutes, then I laid down on the floor.
We agreed to never mention this again in front of each other or anyone else. Then we started to saying sorry to each other. Cursing :). Hell, I was freaked out... I was trying to take the blame, then she. Finally, we agreed on 55% me and 45% her blame.
Morning. We woke up, look in each other's "weslepttogether" eyes and talk about usual stuff, she wanted to help me with cleaning apartment, but me as usual gentleman (except last night :( ), I refused. After 30 minutes she leave. She left here a few of her stuff, so I texted her about it and she didn't reply.
We are not in love with each other but we like each other. I'm afraid of looking at her, writing more texts or calling. I don't want to loose her!! We are both 18 years old and free, but this is hell for me.
Thanks for your help, as we agreed to do not tell anyone I don't have anyone to talk about it.