I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now, he has so many qualities that I never dreamed I'd find in one guy, and he truly cares about me. I like him too.
The thing is, I have been single for so long and now when we are apart and I see someone I am attracted to I tend to flirt a bit.
Does this mean Im not really into the guy? Or is it because Im just used to it? I don't feel guilty at all and I don't feel committed to him, I actually think I could take it further than flirting (just making out) and not feel guilty.
Am I a bad person, I'v never cheated in my previous relationships and I wouldn't, I was clear with him that I don't want to commit right now.
Even though I think he is the kind of man I could actually marry, and I never do, my standards are really high and he is almost up there, its just that there's no passion between us, he's the "wise choice" to make but am making a mistake?

You say he is almost up there... and that there is no passion... I would say that he isn't the one

Wise choice for who? How can someone that you feel no passion with be a wise choice for yourself?

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Originally Posted by ZHJ

I've been seeing this guy for a little over a month now, he has so many qualities that I never dreamed I'd find in one guy, and he truly cares about me. I like him too.
The thing is, I have been single for so long and now when we are apart and I see someone I am attracted to I tend to flirt a bit.
Does this mean Im not really into the guy? or is it because Im just used to it? I don't feel guilty at all and I don't feel committed to him, I actually think I could take it further than flirting (just making out) and not feel guilty.
Am I a bad person, I'v never cheated in my previous relationships and i wouldnt, I was clear with him that I don't want to commit right now.
Even though I think he is the kind of man I could actually marry, and I never do, my standards are really high and he is almost up there, its just that theres no passion between us, hes the "wise choice" to make but am making a mistake?

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Pfft.. your loving with your mind and not your heart

He doesn't look like the one.

You want love that's WONDERFUL, MAGICAL, PASSIONATE. NEVER EVER SETTLE!

You barely know him, Most people don't even know EVERYTHING about their partner till YEARS Later.

No passion, move on. Don't string him along. How old are you?

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Originally Posted by Rabbit91

Pfft.. your loving with your mind and not your heart

He doesnt look like the one.

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See I loved with my heart before and I got hurt, now I only use my mind, he's the "safe" choice, id be happy with him but I don't think it will be that "magical love" kind of thing...

He's smart,he knows how to touch me,he makes me laugh, he's not a cheater, he won't break my heart, he's crazy about me,
But I'm just not crazy about him...
I've been single and having brief flings for so long that I don't know if I am able to fall in love again.

That's why I think its wise to choose him.

Oh and I'm 23.

When the right person comes along, you will love again. He will melt your icey heart.

If you settle for him and you don't love him, its not fair to HIM or YOU.

I've been married for over two decades and I flirt instinctively. It's a lovely way to interact with the world. There's nothing sexual in GOOD flirting, it's mostly just attention that compliments others in a good way.

Don't fret your flirting. And don't hide it from your guy, I do my flirting consistently and NONsexually.

In answer to your title question "Is he the one?"... no, of course not. The "one" is the guy who has stood by your side and slain the dragons and built the castles and defended your honor for a lifetime. The "one" is a title bestowed AFTER-the fact, not predicted ahead of time.

Stop being TOO romantical (is that a word?) in your own head. Enjoy your relationships. Pay attention, but don't over-analyze. It doesn't help. Let his actions speak for themselves, and let YOURS do the same.

Be honest, of good character, and never cheat. If you're attracted to a guy and want to pursue his attentions, cut your current guy loose first. It's honest and correct.

A month is not long enough at all. Make sure you still play hard to get so he doesn't get cold feet like the guy I just broke up with, and yes you have every right to get out there and date, flirt, make out. Unless you two have talked and made things official, the way I look at it is that it is still very casual.