Hi, so my boyfriend isn't a very affectionate person, but I have to have it in a relationship. I need to be kissed, and hugged, and for him to tell me I'm his everything, but he doesn't. He actually does the complete opposite. I have told him, and all he says is "thats just the way iam, i have always been like that". I understand that, but if he loves me like he says he does wouldn't he WANT to do those things with me? I'm starting to feel like I'm not good enough, and I am not sure what to do. Some days we go without kissing at all, and when we have sex, he doesn't kiss me at all, before or after, or during, unless I ask for it. He doesn't even hardly touch me anymore, and I can never get into it, because all he says is lets have sex... nothing is all I get, I am feeling so abused!!

If he asked you for a sex, read newspaper as he about to climax and say you're bored. When he gets annoyed say "that's just the way I am... now."

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Originally Posted by ylaira

If he asked you for a sex, read newspaper as he about to climax and say you're bored. When he gets annoyed say "that's just the way I am... now."

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I think this is a crappy approach myself...

To be honest, I used to be similar in my last relationship, I said I didn't like PDA and I never showed it, I also was never very cuddly or touchy feely... and the truth was because I was losing attraction to my girlfriend, I don't want to say this to discourage you but I want to be honest from my own experience, that was with my first girlfriend... since then I have dated a little and I was lying to myself and her when I said I don't like PDA or to be touchy feely

I would suggest having a real good talk about it and see why he doesn't show you the affection you desire

I feel the same way. If you really love someone, then you want to SHOW them with the little things... the hugs, kisses, holding hands. I totally agree w/ you. That's how it SHOULD be. If this really bothers you and he's not willing to give even just a little, then it's probably time for you to end it so you don't allow yourself to feel neglected any longer.

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Originally Posted by normarenees

Hi, so my boyfriend isnt a very affectionate person, but i have to have it in a relationship. I need to be kissed, and hugged, and for him to tell me im his everything, but he doesn't. He actually does the complete opposite. I have told him, and all he says is "thats just the way iam, i have always been like that". I understand that, but if he loves me like he says he does wouldnt he WANT to do those things with me? I'm starting to feel like im not good enough, and iam not sure what to do. some days we go without kissing at all, and when we have sex, he doesnt kiss me at all, before or after, or during, unless i ask for it. he doesnt even hardly touch me anymore, and i can never get into it, bc all he says is lets have sex....nothing is all i get, i am feeling so abused!!!

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Rabbit'l give you some Sexual Heaaaalliinggg :p

For real though, he needs to see what he's missing. A "reality" check sort of thing! Tell him "we should take a break" then let him ponder on "why" your doing this. Every second that you and him aren't together he will be thinking if your with another guy.

Try it.. it just might work :)

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Originally Posted by ylaira

If he asked you for a sex, read newspaper as he about to climax and say you're bored. When he gets annoyed say "that's just the way I am... now."

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Originally Posted by flash84x

i think this is a crappy approach myself...

to be honest, i used to be similar in my last relationship, i said i didnt like PDA and i never showed it, i also was never very cuddly or touchy feely... and the truth was because i was losing attraction to my girlfriend, i dont want to say this to discourage you but i want to be honest from my own experience, that was with my first girlfriend.... since then i have dated a little and i was lying to myself and her when i said i dont like PDA or to be touchy feely

i would suggest having a real good talk about it and see why he doesnt show you the affection you desire

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I believe our friend did ever try "good talk" but things stayed the same. Well that man should exactly know what are you feel, girl. Nobody wants to ever feel used after giving your all. This should change or end.