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All right this question is about I don't want him talking to any girls(I have no guy friends) he has a lot of old flings and friends that he says he would never mess with.So every time his phone rings I get right I his face to listen.I told him that if I'm not talking to any old flings either should he.I made him erase every girl in his cell phone out and most of the time I answer his phone so the girl won't call back. So my question is Is what I'm doing bad for our r/ship?:o
If u can't trust him how can u have a relationship? And what's wrong with having friends of the opposite sex?
You two REALLY need to seek a therapist! There must be underlining issues we don't know yet. If you continue to isolate your boyfriend he isn't going to stick around. And, its just not healthy and fun for you and him..
I agree, trust is needed for a relationship.. and from your last question to this one.. it doesn't seem like you and him have much.
Hun, are you REALLY happy?
I agree with the above two answers. Good, intimate relationships are built on love, trust and open communication, to name just a few things. If he has already stated that he would never mess with his old flings, then why is it that you don't believe and trust what he says to be true?
If you turn the roles around as far as the way that you are treating and communicating with him, how would you feel if he treated you the same way that you are treating him? Would your relationship last very long?
Just some "food for thought" for you...
Maybe that's what I'll do but I really am happy with him, that's really my only issue (I think) and to tell you the truth I think if we really work on the problem that we're having maybe it could work.But that's our problem we don't even try to work out this little childish problem that we have we fight make up and act like nothing happened. We are just fine when we're happy.Do u guys really think an almost two year r/ship is worth throwing away because of jealousy even when kids are involved?Even know we go threw what we go threw at the end of the day nothing matters except that I still love him.
And there's nothing wrong with it but if he wants to be friends with girls I'd rather them not be old F@#$ partners and girls that like him like that. I told him we can find other couples to be friends with . I won't disrespect him like that.
I understand what you are saying and him and I communicate very well that's all we do is talk about our problems but wee don't react on them like we should. And I do trust him that he's not cheating on me there's no possible way he could we're together TOO much for that. I just need to take control and think before I react to something as silly as my problem.Quote:
Originally Posted by Clough
Thank you for your communication and proactive comments us here! They are very much appreciated!
No, I don't think that you should throw away a relationship with someone you love after almost two years of being together. You have been together as a couple longer than a lot of marriages last, nowadays.
I noticed on one of your other threads that you had started where you mentioned that you are 23 and he is 26. Is that correct?
You state above that "but wee don;t react on them like we should." That statement is the "key" right there to what you need to do.
Good communication in a relationship is really a dialogue with there being an understanding of the ways by both parties to come to mutual understandings and agreements, or for that matter, disagreements. However, both parties enter into the dialogues with the tools and knowledge to move forward to reach mutually agreeable goals that hopefully will take into account the needs and desires of each person.
I think that the two of you might not have all of the "tools" that you need, or realize the ones that you might need, in order for the two of you to move forward so that each of you are satisfied with the results that are gained from the communication/dialogue that you have. One thing to add is, that people also have to agree to have some "give and take" in order for relationships to be successful. But, the two of you might not know how to work with there being "give and take" within a relationship.
Having the proper tools might necessitate a period of discovery as to what each of you is as a person and also what each of you thinks concerning your relationship and also yourselves as individuals. That period of discovery might take a number of months to a number of years.
Such a period of discovery might involve going to counseling, together and individually. It might not have to cost you any money to do so at all. I don't know what your financial situation is, but depending on what it is, if you don't have all that much money, then most major communities have counseling services that operate on a sliding fee scale.
When I was your age, I was married. That marriage lasted 2&1/2 years. My wife and I had big problems. One of them was communicating openly and properly. We were both very immature, and as you might say, "childish." She decided to get counseling on her own. For a number of months she tried to get me to go to counseling with her. Being the "macho" man that I was, I figured that we could work things out on our own.
Finally, I did relent and went to counseling with her. At first I was very resistant and defensive of what the counselor was telling us and also me. But, after awhile, I found that I really enjoyed the sessions because I was learning so much about me and how to work on things in a relationship of any kind! I was beginning to discover who and what I really was and what I really needed to do in order to succeed in whatever kind of relationships I might be involved in, be it intimate, every-day encounters with people, at work or play..
After a number of other months, my wife quit going to the sessions, but I continued. One thing led to another and then I found myself going to a different kind of counselor and then to group therapy.
Eventually, my wife and I were divorced. But, it really was not for the reasons of our not having the tools to communicate effectively with each other. We just simply were not compatible in many other ways. Our children realize that now. That's enough of that story for now...
My point is, that I think that I think that the two of you should seek out a counselor to help you to learn how to work with each other using the proper knowledge and tools, so that you can be a successful couple together. It will take more than just one session with the counselor. The first couple of sessions are mainly just for introductions anyway.
There are also couple sessions in which you might want to become involved concerning clubs of different kinds depending on your interests. It's very easy for couples to get into a rut, even after only a few months of being together. Best to have some variation in the routines so that things are new, fresh and the relationship is thus kept alive!
The both of you can turn your "scars into stars", but it will take the effort of both of you working together!
Please let us know how things are going for the two of you and also your family!
I wish you both a happy and long relationship together! :)
Thanks everyone for the help and advice. I came on here to seek advice from peole I don't know because then I can't and my boyfriend can't be judge. All you adive have helped a lot and I will take it into considaration. I do have good faith in my r/ship and I know god wouldn't give me anything that I wouldn't truly be able to handle. Thanks again
Trust each other,
Like I said before;
There is a 50/50 split in sexes in the world. Half male, half female- If you cannot bare to think of your 'mate' talking to one of the other 50/50's then you shouldn't be in a relationship yet. Trust is one of the main substantial supports in a relationship. If you can't trust each other your relationship may be in trouble.
The first step to a better relationship is taking a step back and looking at the relationship.
Chris-
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