Hi guys,

Hope someone can understand my question! I feel like a contradiction. I am on one hand a lively, bubbly, party girl who always seems content and happy but at times I get overwhelming feelings and periods of feeling lost, upset and sometimes even worthless. I have a great family who love me so much, at uni, work a few part time jobs, good social life and I believe in God and pray everyday.

So here lies the contradiction. I feel like there is a demon I can't knock out of me, I have it good.. so why do I feel worthless and down half the time? I think I may have confidence issues at times and unsure of myself worth. I want to be my true self and feel lost. How does someone find themselves?

I don't want to sound overly dramatic and feel guilty for these feelings as my life isn't bad.. so I feel guilty.

Sorry this question is so long! :-P

Do you think the party girl in you makes you feel down all the time?

I think you have a point. I party most weekends and drink so much with my friends bt it does affect my mood during the week. I also don't really have any hobbies-just a typical girl who goes shopping, the cinema and out on the town in my spare time. I don't know if these 'normal' activities means I'm missing out on personal enjoyment out of more meaningful things in life. I pray to God for help, but think I need to help myself before things change. I'm just done with crying nearly every week as my personality really isn't like that at all. Thanks for your reply by the way, registed :-) any other comments will be really appriciated.

Ps. I thought of cognitive theraphy to couteract my negative thoughts, but think theraphy is probably not needed!

How old are you?

21

Some people are complicated and have different aspects to their personality. However, if you are being a phoney when you are the happy party girl, that will bring on depression in my opinion. (I'm not saying you are, just observing)

You are on the threshold of adulthood when you will be responsible for taking care of yourself by working, arranging you life, etc etc... that can be daunting! Perhaps you are worried about your ability to make a successful go of it.

The best way to gain a better opinion of yourself quickly is to volunteer your time helping someone else. Be altruistic and enjoy the other people you meet who are not self-centered. Great experience!

Good Luck to you in the future. :)

I suspect you got a bipolar aka manic depression. Better visit a counselor.

Bipolar disorder is not a single disorder, but a category of mood disorders defined by the presence of one or more episodes of abnormally elevated mood, clinically referred to as mania. Individuals who experience manic episodes also commonly experience depressive episodes or symptoms, or mixed episodes in which features of both mania and depression are present at the same time. These episodes are normally separated by periods of normal mood, but in some patients, depression and mania may rapidly alternate, known as rapid cycling. Extreme manic episodes can sometimes lead to psychotic symptoms such as delusions and hallucinations. The disorder has been subdivided into bipolar I, bipolar II, Bipolar NOS, and cyclothymia based on the type and severity of mood episodes experienced.

Bipolar disorder - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I am new here and have questions of my own, but I felt a need to respond to you. I think Choux gave some good advice. We all have different sides to ourselves. I can't help but wonder if there is some guilt you are feeling about your drinking and being a party girl. Do you feel it is OK to go out and have a good time? Or, are you punishing yourself, in some way due to your actions? Since you mentioned that you believe in God, and pray every day, then mentioned that you felt like you had a demon inside you, I can't help but wonder if you feel your partying conflicts with your beliefs. Setting that aside for a moment, I'd be interested to know how long you have felt like this. Is it something you have felt all your life, or is it something that came up in the last few months? I am not a doctor, but what you are feeling could be simply a hormonal imbalance. You know yourself better than anyone, give it some thought.

Thanks for the advice choux! :) I think I am quite a complicated person right now I feel content and happy, I think its more of a mood thing. Like when I look at what I wrote now about feeling upset and worthless, I don't feel like that 2dy, its when the mood hits-when it gets scary.

Maybe I'm normal and over-thinking? I am very much a big kid who haves fun bt right now have work experience in a professional office which is daunting so I'm trying to be adult as well. So good point choux thanks again.

Thanks for reply jade as well :) I love going out.. however sometimes if I feel down already drinking doesn't help as I drink to forget, after all it is a depressant. I am interested in your point of a hormone imbalance though. I also have thought it could be, my moods go up and down a lot. I have felt like this the past year.. so kind of recent.

Thanks so much for the reply guys, means a lot xx

Wow I feel like I go through your emotional cycle too even though our lives are so different I'm thinking of therepy again though I've been 4 times