I met this guy on a cruise on the third day of a week long trip. He's from Florida and I am from Western Canada. It felt like magic, great chemistry, so much in common, we were together as much as possible. Now that we are apart, he seems really cool with me, answering my emails direct and to the point, haven't heard from him in a week now (we met three weeks ago). I haven't emailed him a lot at all, but with this coolness he's showing I figured "I'm done". The person I met vs the person that's gone are two different people. When we were together it felt real to me. Now I feel like my hearts has been stomped on and thrown away. I suppose I should just let go and keep doing what I'm doing. I think just need a pep talk cause I feel so down and bad.

The guy you met on the cruise still exists. Just not in an email. It's impractical to think that someone, ANYONE who has been fun in person would make an interesting pen pal. It's just impossible to expect that.

Your heart was not stomped on and thrown away. What happened, and this is important, what happened was you got off the boat. Real life doesn't exist on a boat. You were each on vacation and presented each other with an exciting and interesting vacation personality.

Now, you're both back to real life. If you think pen-pal-ing and a long distance relationship is the natural next step, your romanticizing your vacation into something it wasn't. And thinking ill of him sort of ruins the whole vacation experience, which was real and fun for what it was. Don't do that. It's not necessary.

You can take a deep breath and go back to normal life (something we ALL hate to do) and not lose your great vacation memories. This guy doesn't have to stay in your life, and it's clear he probably isn't interested in the email/LD thing. That's not wrong, you know that.

Feeling down, I guess that's OK, but it really doesn't serve. You are right... vacation-guy and real-life-guy probably ARE two different people. And maybe that's good. It means you and he had fun you wouldn't have had if was normal real-life-guy. Does that make sense?

Pack away the memories in a nice spot to refer to occasionally, and let go of the need for it be more. What happened was enough. Now real-life (for you in Canada and him in Florida) has to take over again, and I'm sure you can get back to the business of pursuing real-life relationships with real-life prospects, can't you? You don't really NEED a penpal, so get back to it!

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Originally Posted by Tansa

I met this guy on a cruise on the third day of a week long trip. He's from Florida and I am from Western Canada. It felt like magic, great chemistry, so much in common, we were together as much as possible. Now that we are apart, he seems really cool with me, answering my emails direct and to the point, haven't heard from him in a week now (we met three weeks ago). I haven't emailed him a lot at all, but with this coolness he's showing I figured "I'm done". The person I met vs the person that's gone are two different people. When we were together it felt real to me. Now I feel like my hearts has been stomped on and thrown away. I suppose I should just let go and keep doing what I'm doing. I think just need a pep talk cause I feel so down and bad.

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Maybe he is just really buisy and working a lot or maybe he just has a lot on his mind keeploking for other guys there is plenty out their to go around best of luck your friend monica

Still holding on to a great vacation huh! Enjoy the memories, but the vacation is over, and reality awaits you. Where are you going next year??

Thanks you guys, but I don't feel any better. I know he's gone but I can't process it or 'snap'' myself out of it. This is the most painful emotional thing I've ever gone through. I can't believe I was completely treated and then dumped like that. This has never ever happened to me. I'm a hot, educated, hard working female, now I'm a wreck. Obviously at this point I am NOT in a position to be looking for other men, it's too hard. Thanks, it feels good to vent and talk about it.

I'm so sorry to hear that tansa... but the problem is, I think you invested too much into this person over a vacation. I can't say that you were even "dumped" as it was really, a "casual fling."

I'm not so sure that contacting him further will help your situation any... best thing... is to perhaps surround yourself with your friends for now. You may be emotionally invested in this guy, but in the end, it took you a week to become this invested, it shouldn't take long to get over it.

Best.

You that makes more sense. I need to put this into perspective, and I am. BTW he just now emailed me asking ME what was going on. I'm going to take my time in responding, if I respond. Thanks everyone.

Good. Yeah, live your life the way you want to... if you feel like checking on what he's up to every now and then, there's no harm in that... but I suggest you tread carefully.

Best.