Ask Me Help Desk - She does not want a relationship

So...
Basically I've been seeing this girl now for a while, She likes me and I like her.
Usually in my past experiences this would result in us moving on from the friends level and in most cases, eventually starting a relationship.

We've talked about this before and while I am open for this to happen she has stated that she is not ready for a relationship at this current point in time due to being extremley busy focusing on her career as well as the fact that she will be traveling overseas for a few months later in the year.
I wasn't really given a chance to talk as the conversation ended abruptly when she told me this and have since been thinking about it.
I should also point out while I would usually take this as an easy way out for the fact that she doesn't actually like me, I know it is not the case in this instance as mutual friends have explained to me that she has held this belief of not wanting a relationship well before we had met.

I really want to respect her decision and understand why she has made it but at the same time I feel that she is simply scared of the slightest amount of commitment due to previous bad relationships and seeing this as once we move past the friends level we are instantly in a serious committed relationship in which we must see each other every day, we can't see other friends etc. which is ridiculous. Also recent ex issues is out of the question as she has not been in a relationship for around a year.
I want to tell her that it won't work like that and I'm happy to take it slow.

So I guess my question is should I say this or should I respect her decision and move on?
If so, how do I deal with getting over her, we see each other more or less every day of the week already. I don't think I can get over her unless I stop seeing her so regularly but I can't say I'm prepared to stop seeing her. As she brings me so much happiness and brightens my day.

I think she's already told you what she wants. If you persist in asking her for something she doesn't want, it really won't help.

As for seeing her everyday, yes, you will have to stop. You guys are not on the same page, so you need to walk away because just being friends is not enough for you.

Good luck.

--Cali

If you can eventually force her into a relationship, which is what it sounds like you attempting. She will rebel. It'll be the worse relationship possible. Leave her alone, let her live her life and you live yours.

She has already made up her mind that her goals come first no matter what her reasons are.
If you want to be her friend you have to respect that. Just be yourself and a friend she can count on. Don't push her for answers or anything. Just let her know you are there through thick and thin no matter what. Eventually she will see she can count on you and let you know if and when she wants more.

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So I guess my question is should I say this or should I respect her decision and move on?

Say nothing about your feelings, as she isn't interested in what you want, and was quite clear about it. Respect it, and move on.

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If so, how do I deal with getting over her, we see each other more or less every day of the week already. I don't think I can get over her unless I stop seeing her so regularly but I can't say I'm prepared to stop seeing her. As she brings me so much happiness and brightens my day.

Click on the link in my signature to the "stickies" for this forum, and "The No Contact Calender I & II, its must reading.

Thanks for the advice,

Not what I wanted to hear, but sometimes facts are hard to face haha.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

If you want to be her friend you have to respect that. Just be yourself and a friend she can count on. Don't push her for answers or anything. Just let her know you are there through thick and thin no matter what. Eventually she will see she can count on you and let you know if and when she wants more.

I'm going to give that a shot. If I find it too difficult, which I can see it being, walking away might be my only option... oh well time will tell.

You both want different things, a relationship will not work if both parties are not mutually invested into it.