Lately I have been asking many questions on this site and had lots of positive insight and I thank those who took the time to answer my previous questions. This is a concern that is seriously bothering me right now because this greatly affects my life. College is a pretty serious time in a young persons life and I am having great trouble. I went to catholic school all my life from pre K to 12th grade I just graduated. I really wanted to go to an art college or a college that had a decent art program but it did not happen. Matter of fact I did not get accepted to one college I applied to and I am very very seriously so embarrassed. I applied to some art colleges but my teachers encouraged me not to because they believed it was to time consuming and my work was to important. I have a GPA of 75.5 which is not good says my teachers. It was hard to balance out my school work with applying to colleges especially art colleges. My school pushes us and gives us about three hours of homework every night I never missed one homework and seriously tried my best but still didn't do that well. I didn't do so well on tests because I did not study especially with my schedule. I had to work on a portfolio which took me months and was not an easy thing because I had no art guidance not since my freshman year of high school. I was basically on my own and I feel so god damn embarrassed with myself. I am a failure and so many students look down on me as a waste. Everyone is so exited going away for college and I am here stuck. I did enroll in community college here in New york and plan to transfer I hope that goes well. So many of my own so called friends keep making fun of me because of that. The teachers and students see community college as a horrible thing because it is "not a real education" There was only one person who cared and he was my freshmen year art teacher. He helped me outside of school and critiqued my portfolio. He encouraged me to do whatever it takes because he said I had a soul for art. I think there were many other factors for not being accepted which were I had to wait a while to contact the art teacher for a letter of recommendation, my irresponsible college counselor took so long to send the transcript. I don't know but I am so embarrassed on top of all of the other things that are going on in my life. Ny mother supports me thank God and she says don't worry what other people say and that my path in life is different. I agree but I am so embarrassed because I went to catholic school and people don't understand my situation. In conclusion I screwed up and I can't constantly think of the past but just move on. It just seriously hurts me from time to time. I sit down and think why did this happen. How should I handle my emotions I started crying at the end of June because I did not know what I was going to do I felt so trapped. College is a but will be a big part of my life and future career. I hope things go well and I never see any of those people who made me feel like crap.
