No orgams after hysterectomy
I had a total abdominal hysterectomy (kept both ovaries) for multiple uterine fibroids and enlarged uterus. I never had any problems until a few months before the surgery, when I developed pain in the lower right abdomen/ovary, pain during sex, frequent urination and constipation that I know now were caused by the enlarged uterus. I was told the fibroids would go away on their own following menopause, but it was not known how long that would be (I'm in my 40s).
I did not do much research prior to surgery, other than to learn that UFE as opposed to surgery had mixed results. (In many women, the fibroids would return, and eventually hysterectomy was performed anyway.)
I now regret the surgery, as my sex life has been greatly affected. I have strong desire and arousal but don't seem capable of achieving orgasm. I have read a great deal on female orgasm (too late, I feel) and learned that what I experienced prior to surgery was internal orgasm, involving the uterus and cervix. Both are now gone. I know I can still have external orgasm, involving the clitoris but wonder if I will ever be satisfied with sex. Prior to surgery, my orgasms were very big and often multiple. My partner feels as if he is letting me down. Sex has not changed for him.
I am extremely depressed, as I feel I didn't do enough research and rushed into the decision to have surgery not realizing how much my sex life would change. So many women I talked to (and read posts from on message boards) never mentioned this; in fact, several said sex would be just as good, if not better. I can't possibly see how a woman could think sex is better without a uterus. I have no contractions during sex, as I did before.
How do I learn to have clitoral orgasms and be satisfied with them? I feel like sex is a major disappointment and become depressed after sex and whenever I think about how life was before my surgery.