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-   -   My boyfriend asked for a break, what should I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=241538)

  • Jul 25, 2008, 09:36 AM
    siroy
    My boyfriend asked for a break, what should I do?

    Me and my boyfriend have two yrs together, and known each other for about 7 yrs. Lately he's been talking to his ex girlfriend a lot. I know he cares for her because there was a time in his life where he was going throw a lot and she was there for him so he lives with this thing that he feels like he has to be there for her. But here's the issue his ex still has feelings for him and A LOT. She's always leaving little messages on msn that she love him and so on and so forward. He claims he doesn't pay mind to that. When I ask him to not speak to her no more he tells me he won't agree to it because if he speaks to her again hell be lying to me. Yesterday we got into a fight about her like we do every week. We have real bad trust issues because iof her and people who tell him lies about me. After our argument last night he text me asking for a break, but I really think a break is going to make things worse. I feel if we really love each other and I know we do then we should work things out. Now I don't know what to do I don't want a break and I feel if we do have one I want to just call it quits because am afraid he's going to cheat on me. Am so confused:confused: . I want us to work out so badly. What should I do?
  • Jul 25, 2008, 09:38 AM
    Romefalls19
    First, you need to find out the guidelines to the break. If he doesn't know, give him what he wants, space. While this goes on, don't make any attempts to talk to him so you properly heal, relationships very rarely recover after a break.
  • Jul 25, 2008, 07:34 PM
    talaniman
    Its sad but true and Rome is so right, things seldom work out the way you want them to. You can't make him stay ,and work things out, but you can get him to define the break so you know what he wants, and what he expects.

    Quote:

    I want us to work out so badly. What should I do?
    Give him exactly what he wants, and leave him alone while you take this time to put your own life in balance, and order, for yourself.

    Love yourself enough to put yourself first, as he has put himself first.
  • Jul 25, 2008, 07:42 PM
    hjpan
    No.. YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM NOW.

    If he's unsure of you or his ex, that's unreasonable.
    Seriously, he sounds like a good guy who turns shallow.
  • Jul 25, 2008, 07:52 PM
    ylaira
    Im sure he wanted a break because he got tired of your "fears" and accusations. So give him the space he asked. Also reassess yourself and address your trust issues in between. Is it really them or you? He will cheat on you if he wants to so just be confident that all your good deeds will prevail while "on break". At least he's being honest even if it annoys you.
  • Jul 26, 2008, 04:27 PM
    gerardymolawd
    .set rules and boudaries that both of you are 100% clear on. That way you can be sure that he will not do anything to hurt you during this break. Also limit yopurself to just 3 or 4 messages to him per day asking how hw is and how things are going.
    Make it clear though that you do not want him to get in contact with his ex during this period or your gone.

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