So me and my boyfriend have been dating for ten months we have been fighting a lot lately about different things each others friends family and the fact he works out of town. So he is gone five days a week. The job is over in December but I don't know if I can wait then to become more of a priority and seeing him more often.

First. Can someone tell me if it is selfish of me to want a break
Second. Do breaks mean forever cause that is what he seems to think

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK:confused:

Well, technically, I'm still on a break with an old boyfriend, from 5 years ago... and I've had another very serious boyfriend for the last 3, so you make up your own mind about what a break means..


And, if you want more of his time, attention, and affection, I would say that a break is not going to help you, it will only give you room to stray and seek attention elsewhere, and he will only get sad, angry, bitter, and resentful, and will probably seek out a more appreciate partner.


Overall, though, if you're thinking about a break, then you probably haven't give your whole heart to this relationship and should probably just flat out break it off.


Sorry if I seem harsh, but that's honestly the only thing I can say and be telling the truth, in my opinion.

I think "breaks" and "Breakups" are effectively the same thing. They sound different because they come from different places. But the result is mostly the same.

It's like debating over a "bath" or a "shower"... either way you get wet.

Once you are "on break", you're both technically single and anything can and will happen. And it's perfectly fine if it does, and it is WAY more likely TO HAPPEN.

No, you're not wrong to want a break. You want it because you have already subliminally decided this isn't really working and you'd like to relax and stretch your legs a bit without feeling beholden to him. You're life wants to move on but your familiarity to him is making it difficult. You're resisting.

Resistance is futile. If your relationship is waning (sounds like it) you can take a deep breath and just admit it.

I would have to disagree to an extent that breaks and breakups are the same. If it's coming from you just needing some space, feeling pressured, etc. and needing just some time to think something over, evaluate where you're at then it's not necessarily forever.

However! This can turn into a full on break, but you shouldn't string this person along until you make up your mind. Are you dependent on the relationship so much that not seeing him as much for the next 5 months is going to kill you?

I had a similar situation, I used to work in town where my girlfriend and I live, and she would come and hang out with me while I was working (supervisor at a local Starbucks.) As soon as I got a new job with a 30 minute commute + conflicting college class schedules we started seeing each other less and less and though she was not happy that she couldn't see me as much, she understands that my new job is far more lucrative for me both in experience and in wages and that I'm doing what I need to to better my life.

This week I've literally seen my girl for about... 10 minutes before I left for work. That's from Last Sunday until today, she's going to visit her Family 3 hours away for the weekend, and if she comes back on Monday, I basically have a slim chance of seeing her until next weekend.

Also, her cell phone is broken so she has no real means of contacting me, so any chance I get to talk to her on the phone I try to do so.

You need to be a bit more supportive of where he's at, because I guarantee that it's not easy on him to not see you as much as he'd like to. But at the end of the day, you should know that he wants to come home to you and not some other person.

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Originally Posted by Kevin_s

If it's coming from you just needing some space, feeling pressured, and needing just some time to think something over

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It happens to a lot of relationships.......the need for "a wee bit of breathing space."

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So me and my boyfriend have been dating for ten months we have been fighting a lot lately about diffrent things each others friends family

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However...... as this relationship has only lasted 10 months,with you even fighting a
lot about each other's family (instead of getting their support,you're pushing them
away :eek:) then it looks like you,BOTH have a LOT of work to do if this
relationship is to survive.

Well he is gone for 5 days a week, so you have a break every week, and a couple normally don't fight all the time. He can not change his job at this point, but it sounds like you are looking to find someone else and moving on,

I agree with FR_chuck, you seem to want a reason to move on because he can't be around you all the time. This is his job, his career and more important his way of taking care of himself.

As a working guy, it would seem a bit selfish, and needy, to want more time given the situation, but long distance relationships often magnify those feelings, and for that reason are hard to maintain. If you want more of his time, then you'll have to make up the distance.

If you can not handle a guy whose job requirement is to be away then most likely you should break up with him.