I'm 33 yr/old and I have not been lucky in the love department.so after trying so many times I gave up on it like a year or more.when I go out I don't even bother on meeting people or even online because I know it will lead to nothing.thats the first thing I tell people if I meet them, that I don't believe in love.
In the other hand I see people that are stupid, in loving relationships all the time.is ignorance the main igredient here?ignore reality? Anyway ,my question is :is it me that has to change my outlook on love?how can I start?? :confused:

Well I'd say you will need to change your outlook if you ever want to find love but what exactly is your outlook besides "it leads to nothing"?

Let go. Don't introduce yourself as a love-hater. It won't help your situation. Introduce yourself. Don't set expectations. And be open to possibilities. You've stopped looking, let love find you. It will. Good luck.

I think the hardest part is , not only define love, but to believe in it. I feel that the closer you are to understanding and accepting love, then your chances increase of attracting loving people in your life.

Plus, I feel that it is *very* difficult to meet quality people (especially if you are in a large urban area).

Two questions: 1) Are you male or female? 2) Do you live in an urban or rural area?

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Originally Posted by tawnynkids

Well I'd say you will need to change your outlook if you ever want to find love but what exactly is your outlook besides "it leads to nothing"?

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I don't think man can be monogamous and it gets boring with time.too much drama. Is hurtful and intrusive.is all about sex. I just don't believe it.you don't need to be with someone to be happy.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

Let go. Don't introduce yourself as a love-hater. It won't help your situation. Introduce yourself. Don't set expectations. And be open to possiblities. You've stopped looking, ,let love find you. It will. Good luck.

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Thank you

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Originally Posted by Always_helping

I think the hardest part is , not only define love, but to believe in it. I feel that thw closer you are to understanding and accepting love, then your chances increase of attracting loving people in your life.

Plus, I feel that it is *very* difficult to meet quality people (especially if you are in a large urban area).

Two questions: 1) Are you male or female? 2) Do you live in an urban or rural area?

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1)gay male 2)im in miami,very urban area extremely difficult to meet quality people.everyone is all about sex

So, do you want love or do you want to walk around telling people that NO men are monogamous and that they don't need men?

A watched pot never boils. - Proverb

If you're spending all your time trying to MAKE love happen, it may not and it will be frustrating. So much more rewarding to look at life as the smörgåsbord it really is. Step up to the table and dive in. Taste it all. Just enjoy the eating (metaphorically speaking).

Somewhere along the way you will discover new things, new flavors, new ideas, new experiences (good and bad) and you will grow through it all.

Best to find that love occurs the way it was intended to... outside your control. Meanwhile, enjoy the smörgåsbord.

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Originally Posted by srizookie

1)gay male 2)im in miami,very urban area extremely difficult to meet quality people.everyone is all about sex

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I was born and raised in a very urban area (L.A./O.C) and people tended to be very superficial and materialistic (just *my* experience). Now, Miami is know for sex, crime, and hot bodies... hmmm kind of like L.A. So you are in a culture that is "stacked against you" and you will have to work hard to find true love.

Here is my take: Quality, loving people tend to have quality, loving friends. Tap into your quality friends and network through them. Obviously this does not guarantee success but your chances do get better. Learn to be a better person (we all can) who knows love, who has hope, and is optimistic.

Another thing to ponder: Perhaps your ideal mate is not located in the Miami area.

Best wishes.

Just my own experience, Love yourself enough to learn what makes you happy, and you'll attract someone to share it with.

First you must love yourself, and build a life that you enjoy around that love.

Not only will it make your whole outlook meaningful, and positive, You won't look for love, and avoid all the wrong places, but you'll be ready when it finds you.

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Originally Posted by ChihuahuaMomma

So, do you want love or do you want to walk around telling people that NO men are monogamous and that they don't need men?

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I don't know what's the worse of those options

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Just my own experience, Love yourself enough to learn what makes you happy, and you'll attract someone to share it with.

First you must love yourself, and build a life that you enjoy around that love.

Not only will it make your whole outlook meaningful, and positive, You wont look for love, and avoid all the wrong places, but you'll be ready when it finds you.

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It makes a lot of sense.thank you