Ask Me Help Desk - My son has bipolar/physcioaffective/ocd/social anxiety disorder/manic depressive

I am just looking for someone who I can converse with who is experiencing or has experienced the same thing I am going through as a mother. My son, 23, was diagnosed last year with bipolar, psycho-affective (associated with schizophrenias), social anxiety disorder, manic depressive, and over compulsive disorder. After many months of trying different medications, we have finally found a "potion" that seems to be helping. I have gotten him on SSA so that it would help with his needs. I am currently unemployed and so is my fiancée, who lives with us. Tensions are running high between me and my fiancée because of financial difficulties but also because of my son and how I handle certain situations revolving around his disorder. Is there anyone out there who I can talk with from time to time just to vent or get another point of view. As it stands right now, me and my fiancée are not talking. He is in one room and I am in another. And it is all because of how I handled a situation regarding my son. I feel so alone at times and caught in the middle all the time! Also, I just had a miscarriage 7/4 and am still dealing with the emotions and hormones of that. So basically, I am a ball of nerves right now! :(

Your son is very ill. Have you investigated an alternate living arrangement so he can have a calm, emotionally healthy environment in which to live? Seems like he could be in danger of suicide in the future..

You can always post things here.
I went through this same thing with my son but I had been divorced from my husband and all on my own with 4 kids.
Some things I can tell you is do not disagree or fight over handling situations where you son can hear because he will figure out that he can manipulate the two of you by purposely pitting you against each other.
Also don't keep trying different methods of punishment/discipline because it makes things worse. Have the punishment fit the crime as much as possible. He has to know what to expect according to what he does.
Some things you can do are time outs, taking away privileges, putting toys and/or video games away.
Have a set list of things he does and a corresponding punishment and a set amount of time with the option to increase the duration each time he repeats a behavior.

When you try different punishments/disciplines because you think since you tried this for a month and it hasn't worked and switch it makes things worse.

When you say you have him on a potion what is that?

Also you might want to read these books

Read
The Crazymakers by Carol Simontachhi
And Brain Allergies by Dr Philpott

Cut him off ALL junk food and preservatives possible.
Give him omega fatty acid like this Omega

Also some people swear by Homeopathic Remedy for Hyperactivity

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheyelo

I am just looking for someone who I can converse with who is experiencing or has experienced the same thing I am going through as a mother. My son, 23, was diagnosed last year with bipolar, psycho-affective (associated with schizophrenias), social anxiety disorder, manic depressive, and over compulsive disorder. After many months of trying different medications, we have finally found a "potion" that seems to be helping. I have gotten him on SSA so that it would help with his needs. I am currently unemployed and so is my fiancee, who lives with us. Tensions are running high between me and my fiancee because of financial difficulties but also because of my son and how I handle certain situations revolving around his disorder. Is there anyone out there who I can talk with from time to time just to vent or get another point of view. As it stands right now, me and my fiancee are not talking. He is in one room and I am in another. And it is all because of how I handled a situation regarding my son. I feel so alone at times and caught in the middle all the time!! Also, I just had a miscarriage 7/4 and am still dealing with the emotions and hormones of that. So basically, I am a ball of nerves right now!! :(

Thanks Nohelpforu, and in answer to your question about what I meant as far as "potion" I was referring to all his meds he takes. He takes a total of 13 pills per day which consist of... lithium, seroquel, zanax, and buspar. He has been seeing a dr and therapist since last oct. He has come a long way! I have learned a lot about his conditions but still have a long way to go. Up until 3 months ago, he would not even leave his bedroom except to get something to eat or go to the bathroom. He did not feel comfortable being around anyone. Once the dr finally got him on the right dosages of meds, we started seeing an improvement. He now comes out and tries to be a part by watching TV with us and eating with us. And as far as going out in public, well we had to take baby steps at first, but he has now gotten to the point where he can go to his grandparents house or his sisters house without me. But if he has to go into any place of business, he has to wear his sunglasses. He says its helps him feel invisible and not worry about what other people are saying about him. He also sleeps a lot. But that is a side affect of his meds. I am glad that he can at least go out of the house a little bit now by himself! That is a great improvement and his therapist agrees. But my fiancée doesn't! He doesn't think I should let him go as much as I do. I say that he needs to go as much as he can because it is helping him to learn how to be out in public again. But my fiancée just keeps getting mad every time I let him leave. I am trying to please them both but it is getting very difficult. And last night, my son left to go to walmart to get some milk and butter. When he came back, he had also went by the liquor store and bought some rum to make a mixed drink. I confronted him about this and he said "oh momma it is just a cocktail and I am after all 23". Well, I let it go at the time, but said to myself right then that I was going to call his therapist today. Well because I didn't call her first thing this morning, my fiancée and I have been fighting. I DID call her and talk to her about this and she agrees that this is something we need to address asap. So I did what I knew to do, just not on my fiancee's time schedule. And he doesn't think that is enough. That I should take the keys away from him and basically chain him to the house. Well, he was chained to this house for 10 months before he even let himself go outside. So now that he has gotten to a point where he is somewhat comfortable with going outside, why would I want to restrain him again? He has not done anything wrong up until this point. Like I said, all he does is go to his sister's house, his grandparents or the occasional trips to walmart. And when he came home with the alcohol, I confronted him and then took the appropriate steps to alert his counserlor. So why does my fiancée have to be such a butt! I must add that my fiancée has not been to any of the counseling meetings so he is not as educated on what is going on as I am. Although he has been invited. Sorry I am going on so long, it is just I have no one to talk to and I am driving myself crazy trying to figure things out on my own!

Okay with him taking those meds the homopathic meds would be something you do not want to do. But still read the two books.

Also keep watching for changes in his behavior because with the psycho tropic drugs they can sometimes either become ineffective or immune to him. So if he starts acting up to where you feel he is exhibiting old behaviors he could need to go get reevaluated to either up the dosage or change the meds.
I missed the part about him being 23 (my mind skips over #'s sometimes) so punishment/discipline may be harder but get creative with handling his behavior.
Your fiancé does sound like he is being over protective. He does need to get out and as long as he is not getting in trouble and causing fights he should adjust to society.

Quote:

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Okay with him taking those meds the homopathic meds would be something you do not want to do. But still read the two books.

Also keep watching for changes in his behavior because with the psycho tropic drugs they can sometimes either become ineffective or immune to him. So if he starts acting up to where you feel he is exhibiting old behaviors he could need to go get reevaluated to either up the dosage or change the meds.
I missed the part about him being 23 (my mind skips over #'s sometimes) so punishment/discipline may be harder but get creative with handling his behavior.
Your fiance does sound like he is being over protective. He does need to get out and as long as he is not getting in trouble and causing fights he should adjust to society.

Yeah, disciplining a 23 year old is a little harder. But I did what I thought needed to be done by contacting his therapist. Which he sees every 2 weeks and his dr once a month. So maybe between the 3 of us we can nip this in the bud so to speak. I don't want him falling into his old patterns of addictions and the rollercoaster of behaviors! He is due to have his lithium level checked again in a couple months but maybe his seroquel needs to be changed. Although he doesn't want that to happen because all the other anti-psychotic meds have side affects that cause facial tics and he is already so obsessed with his appearance that facial tics scares him to death... as it does me. But I know there are other meds he can take to counter-act that side affect. I'm hanging in there!

When he goes to see his therapist it would be a good idea to have them have a good scare tactic type talk with him about mixing alcohol with his meds.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sheyelo

I must add that my fiancee has not been to any of the counseling meetings so he is not as educated on what is going on as I am. Although he has been invited. Sorry I am going on so long, it is just I have no one to talk to and I am driving myself crazy trying to figure things out on my own!!

I would say that getting your fiancée into the meetings is imperative for everybody. If he hears the same information from the therapist as he is hearing from you, he will be much more likely to reconsider his ideas. It sounds to me like your son does need to get out of the house, obviously when he is not in a state that could endanger anybody... including himself. Being completely house ridden could actually make him get worse, not better. I would absolutely take the therapist's advice on this.

Considering the gravity of the situation, I would recommend going for therapy more frequently. Perhaps this is made difficult by your current financial situation, but it is extremely important that your son has as much support and cognitive behavioral therapy as he can get. A lot can happen in two weeks.

Best of luck to all of you, and stay strong!