I am a 31 year old mother of 3 boys. My husband told me back in April, he wanted a divorce. He said all we did was fight, (which we didn't), I spent all his money, and I didn't clean the house. I was devastated. We rarely had problems. But I moved out with my 3 kids. I tried to change everything he said was wrong with me, thinking we could get back together I found out in June he had been "talking" to one of his female co-workers on the phone since January. He swore he never had an affair with her, but I am not stupid. Unfortunately I live in a no fault state. I filed for divorce immediately. I deserve better then that. He is now parading this girl all over town. The divorce isn't final and we live in a very small town. This girl he is seeing is a piece of work. 3 kids from 3 different men, being sued from numerous collection agencies, this is the 4th relationship she has split up. I am not blaming it all on her it's both of them. I have always been the primary caregiver for my boys. He is trying to use that I am crazy and can't afford to raise them. I have said things about him in front of the kids (I feel horrible about that) and he's said things too. The only reason he wants them is for tax purposes. I am truly scared of what he and his girlfriends morals and values will do to my children. His dad cheated on his mom all the time and now he has continued that with me. I don't want them to learn that. Is there anything I can do to insure he doesn't get my kids. Pleas help

The best advice you can get is to contact an attorney ASAP. Custody disputes can get very ugly, be prepared for that.

Best of luck to you and your children

It depends, but unless you can prove that he is unfit, he will likely get at least visitation. Can you afford an atty? If so, let that be your next stop.

As far as your children, the best you can do is sit them down and make sure they understand (without bashing their father) that cheating is wrong, etc. Make sure you explain this on their level. Best of luck.

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Originally Posted by nelly2185

I am a 31 year old mother of 3 boys. My husband told me back in April, he wanted a divorce. He said all we did was fight, (which we didn't), I spent all his money, and I didn't clean the house. I was devastated. We rarely had problems. But I moved out with my 3 kids... Is there anything I can do to insure he doesn't get my kids. Pleas help

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Sounds to me as though you are doing a lot of things right. Just my opinion, but the best way to survive a fight is to shoot first. Get a lawyer and demand everything: custody, child support, all the property, he pays the debts, and, yes, alimony. He will probably have to pay your attorney fees, as well.

I agree with George and make sure you have stable housing and income to prove you are able to provide for them then he has less chance of saying you are unfit.
Guys often use the make you look bad to make themselves look like the good guy and like you did them wrong. Sounds like he was just using fault finding as an excuse because he didn't want to admit the truth about there being another girl.

I Have contacted a lawyer. The only problem is she is basically doing it for free, so I am not to sure about it. I just got the response he filed. He doesn't have a lawyer. And he is lying about everything. He inherited 40 acres from his grandparents but it wasn't put into his name until we were married. All I want is to insure that property goes to my boys, but I don't trust him to do that. He has only been giving us $600 a month and I only work a part time job. It has been that way since I was pregnant with my 2nd child. Everything in his response was a lie and I am furious about it. He wants the kids 50% of the time. I have applied to go back to school in the fall. It is 50 miles from where we live now. So we are moving up there. How will that work. My oldest is starting kindergarten this year is he supposed to go to one school one week and one the next. How can he think he deserves it after doing that to us. He chose to be unfaithful and now I might lose my kids for it. How is that right.

What if I can prove his girlfriend is unfit. Can I keep my kids away from her.

If you document all your concerns and tell the Judge he may grant that they do not see her or that he has supervised visits. But lack of morals and personal values aren't really something a Judge takes into consideration unless it is directly affecting the kids.