I'm 23 next week and she's JUST TURNED 21, she started a new internship with other 20 something's and started to hang out with them a lot then she wanted a break, made out with one of the guys at a party and now talks to him on the phone but says she's not going to start a relationship with him. She said these new people understand her because they go to college like her and can relate and listen to her better as I have not gone to college or made any important career moves. She said she is not in love with me anymore all of a sudden and doesn't want to talk at all. I love her so much and took her for granted thinking wed never break up and now that we have I can't stand it and I realize now what I was doing wrong but she doesn't want to give it another chance. What do I do? Leave her alone? I want her back so bad I wanted to be with her forever she waited for me to get into school and I didn't and I didn't realize she would break up with me and now I'm afraid if I go she will find someone else.
It has been 3 weeks and she has only called me once, won't answer any of my calls or texts how do you shut someone out like that. The night she called me last week she just wanted to see if I was OK because she said she was down the shore at a bar and ran into someone that told her I was having a hard time. She said maybe one day down the road and I pleaded with her to no avail. I have done no contact since then except for one drunken text asking to be friends one day.. does this sound hopeless? She also said she is still talking to that guy she hooked up with because he understands her, nice to her and is going through the same thing as he broke up wit his girl the same week! Please help she also said she knows we will talk again one day even if I don't call her she won't forget about me, my birthday is next week if it's a text should I ignore it? Or will she ever even call me again?

It's over man, she ended this and you are still hanging on to an illusion. It's time to pick your manhood up off the floor. Go strict NC with her, don't call or text her, take her off your myspace EVERYTHING! Its only delaying your healing and moving on. You two have different wants out of life it seems, she wants to be free to do what she feels she should do. I'm not going to say what I think of her excuse of breaking up but it sounds like bull and hiding her true motives. Already hooking up with another guy after just going on a break? DUDE! She has had this planned for awhile, save yourself some face and get up and get far far away from her.

I can only add, read my signature, and click on the links to the stickies. She has moved on, so should you.

First serious relationship, huh??

This won't mean much now, but seriously, DO NOT SWEAT your ex. Let's look at some things she has said. Things that ARE NASTY.

1. You haven't gone to college so you can't relate-- WHAT! Did she just realize you didn't go to college yesterday and that you guys can't relate? Bull! That is a nasty thing to use against you. STRIKE ONE!

2. She's not in love with you anymore-- SHE HASN'T BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR AWHILE. She just needed to find someone new to jump on board with. She did.
STRIKE TWO!

2. She is not getting into a relationship with this new guy -- YES SHE PROBABLY WILL. IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING. STRIKE THREE... SHE'S OUT.

That's right, SHE IS OUT, not you. Now keep her out. Last summer I dated a 21 yr old girl. We broke up because she moved away. She came to visit me after a few months. She was dating some new guy and I really didn't care.

But get this, she cheated on her new guy a few times.

This a direct quote from her,"I cheated on him and that's how I know I love him." I laughed at her, told her that's very 21, and said I was glad I wasn't dating her anymore.

There's plenty of girls who pull the move your EX is pulling. You don't want to be with a girl like that. She'll eventually grow up, but NOT FOR A LONG TIME.

SHE STRUCK OUT WITH YOU. Now stay away from her.

--Cali

This is like a déjà vu. I had the same thing happening more or less to me now 2 months back. I was with this girl (22 I am 23) almost 3 years and during her last summer term in college she started hanging out more with this guy from class that she had know for 2 year (I am working) which lead to her saying that she does not feel the same way anymore about me and that she needed a break... which then lead to a break up where she said that she had a crush for someone else (guess who, but still admittted nothing would happen).
Life really sucks because you keep being optimistic and the worst happens.I believe the key now is not to have expectations. Anyway she ended up making out with this guy and has been constantly talking to him. She even told me that she didn't want a relationship , that she is just enjoying life and all that lame stuff and that she is just having fun (what an immature behavior... tells you a lot about someone), but from the way she has been I believe that relatioship is coming.
I actually recently found out that she had been going to his place more often now and it pissed the hell out of me but at the same time it made things clear, she has made a decision, which I believe is bad but it is hers to make. I have had a hard time to deal with this because you feel you have been used and rejected. BUT Don't.
In fact if she acts like this, she will probably act like this again. So be thankful that this has not happened 3 years later if you were lets say married.
The reason I wanted to share this with was first it helps to see that other people are going through the same thing at almost the same time, so you are not alone, and at the same time I wanted to tell you to remain optimistic. If you believe in karma that stick to that. Tell yourself that things will trun around and things will be better. It is hard yes AND I am sure that it is HARD for her. No one can be that cold even if they don't show it. This is her way to deal with it, to avoid it. Someday she will remmeber. YOu cannot avoid the past and the past will come back sometime. If she will have a fight with or does treat her like you did she will start to see what she has lost and you will be well of when that day will come, I know it. And it will be to late for her... karma haha
On another note You need to see this as a time for yourself now, go out and have fun. Do things that you always wanted to do. I remmeber that I really shut myself from the outside world towards the end because I constantly wanted to be with her. BIG MISTAKE. Live your life and do what you want whenever you want. Rember you have to love yourself before you love someone else. I am not saying that the way you acted is the reason things ended but go with the idea that she messed and she will eventually see it. And when she does you will long passed this and in a much better place with probably a much better girl.
Let me know if this helped my friend. Hope explaining my case has helped you relax and calmed you a little and remmber no contact. If you feel the need to write her... write here. YOu are not the first nor the last in this position. Everyone has been through this and have moved on from this and so will you. I myself am much better so I can asssure that time heals all

She sounds like she has moved on. It was probably over way before you realized it. So it's time for you to move on. Good Luck

You need to take care of you right now. The only way you will ever get her back (and that's not even a sure thing) is to detach yourself from her right now. Get into shape, take on a new hobbie, meet new girls. If she sees that you are fine without her she will want you back. If she sees you with another girl, she will see you as desirable. Txting and drunk dialing shows that you are a chump and rely your happiness on her. Erase her number, erase anything else you have of hers. I know its tough man but you need to do it, otherwise you can kiss your goodbye and say hello to a bright future of agony.

Ithappenstoall: thanks that does help. Well anyway I started no contact for 2 weeks then bam I come home from work and there's a B-day present and a card.. so I called and left a message just saying thank you nothing else.. so then I get a text saying even though we aren't together anymore I will always be there for you and will always be proud of you (im going to school now) if she is with someone else now which I found out she is with the guy she left me for. Then why this now? What do I make of it? Am I doing the right thing?

Yes, you are doing the right thing, keep NC going buddy! We all support you

Yes you are doing the right thing... You were polite and responded but it stops here. She wrote me as well and I wish I had read some of the posts here and not answered because it had given me false joy and hope. NC is best until you know you are comfortable with yourself and know that seeing here will not affect you in anyway. I myself know that I am not there yet... thank god I am overseas ahah.
Be strong Buddy... we are here for you

This all sounds very familiar to me man. I am going through the same situation over the past month, with the only difference that in my case she made out with the guy before breaking up with me. My post is on this forum if you want to read it.

My advice would be to break any contact with her and not allow her to break in and out of your life whenever she feels like, because it is just torture for you. She will keep on doing it as long as you are letting her because she might still be unsure of her decision. Don't go back to any of her excuses about people understanding her better because she was only trying to convince herself of her decision and make herself feel better of what she had chosen to do. If she really cared for you then she wouldn't have told you all these hurtful things. Because she had made her decision and there was nothing to do with you doing anything wrong. If she really loved you then she should have discussed it with you and given it another chance but she had obviously taken her decision a long time ago. Look at the bright side of things. You are going to school now!
My advice would be that you move on with your life without her. Break any contact with her because it might be giving you false hope. You deserve to be treated better than the way she has treated you. Good luck!

Now I get a text last night saying I just wanted to wish you an early happy birthday because tomorrow is going to be crazy, but I understand if you don't want to talk, so I wrote back like an hour later just "thanks lyss" should I have talked to her? Should I say something else now?

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Keep the NC going, this wasn't an invite for a conversation. Stay NC! You fall off the horse, you will surely go back to day 1

Yeah but how will I ever know anything, if she misses me or anything, if I don't ever talk to her she might just really forget about me.. which is not what I want, I'm doing NC to see if she realizes she made a mistake, which Might be working because Ive been getting texts lately but I just don't know what they really mean...

NO! Do not say anything! Do not contact her! I agree with romefalls19 that this was not an invitation for conversation. She is still just holding that door open. Let her deal with her confusion on her own without dragging you down. Remain strong and do NOT contact her!
Don't let her bring you back to day 1 on your birthday. If she honestly thinks she has made a mistake then its up to her to show you in a clearer way and not torture you this way.

She's going to be a pain in the until she's about 26 or 27. You should be asking yourself, do I want to lose my hair and cause endless hours of torture on myself. You're young forget her, there's plenty of fish in the sea.