Sorry, this is a bit of a long situation to explain...

Some of you may remember my story, but I started dating this guy in late February and he broke things off with me in mid May, right before I left school for the summer, for various reasons, all which can be summarized into the fact that he just didn't feel strongly enough about me. I went NC right away and while there was a slip up for about a week 6 weeks ago, I've been NC ever since.

Or as NC as I can get. You see, while we were dating, I was foolish enough to agree to take on a leadership position in a student organization with me as the vice president and him as president. And of course, things ended. I really feel strongly about the organization, have a lot of ideas for it, and want to be a part of its leadership and its success. And we're headed towards the time where he and I have to make a lot of decisions and start doing a lot of planning for the year ahead. We'll also be together at events, meetings, etc.

So I haven't maintained NC in that we've exchanged very formal business emails concerning logistics and such. These emails leave me somewhat drained, and I am sometimes hurt by how just matter-of-fact he is. It's like I'm not an ex, but just a business partner or something. And then I get argumentative with him.

Some of my friends are encouraging me to resign my position and say I'm overcommitted to school or work. I must admit this is an attractive option because I just wouldn't have to DEAL with seeing him or interacting with him until I am actually over him (which I am not). There are many reasons I think I can't do this: 1) I don't want to give in to him, 2) I know I will be letting the rest of the group leaders down and be seen by them as a quitter (and they will infer that it's because things have ended) and 3) because I am a good leader and I care about the organization. But I am really terrified of overreacting to comments he may make, reading too much into his actions, seeing him interact with the new (female) students coming in, and all the other stuff that I know I have a strong instinct to do around exes. That anxiety was so bad for a while that I considered taking a leave of absence from school.

In our current positions, we will HAVE to see a lot of each other. More than I can handle as someone who still wants to be more than friends with him (he, of course, really wants to be just friends). So what do I do? Do I quit? Do I soldier through it and be miserable for some of it and possibly hate the experience? Is there a third option? Any advice would be great. For those of you who've dated co-workers, I don't know how you made it through the break ups.

What will you regret more? The shared tasks with him will end, so completing your responsibilities means short-term (but difficult) pain. Quitting means permanently remembering you walked away from something meaningful in your life because it was difficult.

So I ask - which will you regret more?

JB is right, which will you regret walking away from more? If you can't deal with him than walk away but don't take the easy way out for anything.

I'm of the same opinion as JB and Rome... If you do decide to quit as the VP, will you regret resigning because of a strained relationship?

Ask yourself if you can make more of a difference as the Vice President - albeit the strained relationship - or as an ex-VP.

I'm not saying this is what you should do, but it seems like you are recognizing the ramifications of quitting and/or staying. Life sometimes throws you fast balls... its how you swing at them that makes all the difference in the world. Sometimes you just have to plant your feet and determine to knock it out of the park.

Can you do this? Can you work with him in civility and "friendship?" Can you be an effective VP?

Don't quit! It is separate from your previous relationship! It will make you stronger if you learn to deal both your ex and the leadship relationship with him!

I was the President of the Computer Science Association at school last year, now the New President is the one that likes me and I was the one recommended him to the Faculty advisor at the end of my graduation! It has nothing to do with if he likes me or not, he is a good leader that's all about it!

I directly told him I suggest him because of his ambition and dedication. He can do it!

I don't know if I can =( I want to be strong enough, but I also know myself well enough to know that it will take so much strength not to fly off the handle. But I was thinking about it more today and I do also realize that quitting is also a bit manipulative on my end- I feel like I'm trying to get a reaction out of him one way or another and this is quite the drastic, out-of-the-blue way to show him how much he's hurt me. And so for that reason alone, it's probably not something I should do.

Does anyone think I should TALK to him about this? Eep...

One of the hardest types of maturity is the ability to ignore inappropriate feelings you have someone. For instance, if you're married, you will still be attracted to others for the rest of your life... sometimes STRONGLY. But you ignore it. You promised. If you're having a fight with your husband, you still ignore it. If you're husband is mean and withhold his affections... you STILL ignore it.

You see, being married means you're going to faithfully fight the fight no matter what to work things out, good and bad. So, you ignore all inappropriate feelings for other men.

OK? How does that apply to you? Well, I consider your situation actually very similar.

You had a relationship with someone you can't escape from for some real-world reason, in your case it is your Student Organization. So, you will have to practice the same sort of restraint you will eventually need to have when you get married. You are going to have inappropriate feelings of anger and manipulation for this man... FEELING THAT MUST BE IGNORED as if he were any perfect stranger who deserved your restraint.

You'll benefit a lot if you can pull this off. And it isn't a forever thing, you know exactly how long you have to deal with it. You will view his professionalism with the same respect you would any stranger's or acquaintance's.

And yes, you will need to speak to him at least once. "I appreciate the work we are doing here. I am glad we are going to be able to succeed at this work without difficulty from our own failed relationship, aren't you? It's good to know we can rely on each other's professionalism to serve during this time, and that's what Student Government is all about, isn't it? Good for us."

Then leave it at that. Respond to his professionalism in kind. If he ever crosses the line, simply remind him it is inappropriate Student Government behavior and you expect him to do better... then forget about it. Keep it civil and simple. Don't over think it ever again.

JB is right you made a commitment, and you should keep it. It may have gotten harder than you thought, but you should see it through with businesslike professionalism.