My BF of seven years has been acting very strange towards me lately. I don't think that he finds me attractive anymore. The more I do the less he notices. For example: the other night I dressed up for him and walked around trying to get his attention for an hour. I would even try to make conversation. He wouldn't even look up from his game. Maybe I just don't do it for him the way I used to. I am even getting in shape and lost some weight.
He says that he can't always initiate sex, but he doesn't it has been fairly 50-50 when it comes to initiation. The other day he said that he will try to pencil me into his routine. I am at loss here. I am very sad and ashamed that I paraded around nearly half nude and I can't even get a smile. I don't know what's changed. MAybe after 7 years he doesn't look at me the same anymore.

Has anyone else gone through this?
I mean I'm not a hideous beast by all means.
I'm just very sad and very self-conscience since this has been going on. :(

Have you tried talking to him about this? Also, is there anything else that changed in his life, i.e. work?

His game may have gotten to be an addiction which does end up doing that to a person.
He also may have gotten to a rut and taking you for granted.
He didn't suddenly start acting like this did he?

Okay here's the low down.

His day... get up at noon. Work out. Play poker. Cook dinner. Take a nap. Work out. Play on the computer and go to sleep. (He does it every day)
My day... get up at 5 go to work for 10 hours. Come home. Go to the store. Eat. Clean up dinner. Go to second job for 4 hours. Come home.

When I get home I want to spend time with him but I can't talk to him until he is sitting down at the computer or he get's mad. It has gotten worse. We are the best of friends usually. But he just doesn't find the interest in me he used to. I give him everything he wants, he doesn't work. When we do have sex I am doing most of the work. He expects me to be a sex kitten all the time and I have been. But now he doesn't notice

What is his situation with his work... is he actively looking for work? Or is he unable? Or uninterested in working?

Cut him off tell him that you aren't in the mood.
Find interests outside the home to take your mind off him.
If he doesn't notice and make an effort to work on the relationship or he decides to leave what do you have to lose? Otherwise he is going to stay at the place he is and not put any effort in the relationship.
You can try talking with him but with guys like that it usually resolves nothing.
He apparently has been getting away with too much already.
Not working is usually a pretty good sign that he has no motivation.

You are enabling him and he is living off that. If you put your foot down you might see his true colors,

Putting my foot down does not work. I have tried. I guess I have to wait till he comes around. Putting my foot down with him? He will leave me quicker than I can blink

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Originally Posted by Redphoenix

Putting my foot down with him? He will leave me quicker than I can blink

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Which might be better for you. I do not want to judge someone without all the facts but I'd say you deserve much better than him as he is right now. I'd put my foot down and demand change from him or threaten that YOU will leave him!

Then that would be for the better.
He sounds like he is just taking advantage of your hospitality
You deserve more than that don't you.
So I stick with the put your foot down.
If he leaves quicker than a blink then you didn't really have anything going with him other than your being an easy place to live.
Why live with what you have now when you can do much better?
See yourself with him years down the road and he hasn't changed a thing. Is that really what you want to look forward to?
Then you will feel your life has slipped away and you can't get it back.

He needs a wake up call/an ultimatum!

Do you stick by what you say? While your out working two jobs he's staying fit, have free time to play poker games, nap. I like that he at least cook dinner, I hope for you too. I can even digest that he might be depress a little or feel less of a man but if he's not doing anything to change that then you have a choice of even accepting this or not.

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His day... get up at noon. Work out. Play poker. Cook dinner. Take a nap. Work out. Play on the computer and go to sleep. (He does it every day)

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You put up with crap from a guy that doesn't work?? You deserve whatever you get. Stop beeyatching and stand up for yourself .

I'm confused. Did this guy win the lottery? Don't get me wrong, I'd love to live that life, but it seems so unrealistic. How do the bills get paid?

That being said, I'd bet his computer addiction is really a porn addiction which is where his focus is, which is why it's not on you.