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-   -   I feel stuck and don't know what to do (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=240775)

  • Jul 23, 2008, 10:54 AM
    Lilyinwinter212
    I feel stuck and don't know what to do
    Hello everyone I am new to this site,although I do sometimes read many posts and advice on the No Contact rule (NC) I just would like some advice myself on this situation.
    I'm in my mid 30's and am about to graduate college,and looking into going to grad school. I am originally from Chicago and moved to a college town in Georgia in which meeting men hasn't been one of my top success.
    So I fell for someone in another country, from a international dating site. Problem we never got to meet because he has found someone geographically closer to him. The thing is our last interaction was left to be desired,he treated me as though I was beneath him and laughed at the fact that I still cared for him,so then I went on NC ever since.
    Although I still think of him it hurts me that he can find someone and I am still single. I am very outgoing, I go to events and socialize whenever I can, and do the best to always appear attractive. I do get whistles I get from Spanish construction guys and older men I Furthermore, I start making friends with people similar to help websites like this and befriend them,(mostly guys, I'd like to find female friends but guys are always the one to reach out it seems) but lately I'm the one whose always doing the calling,I feel as though I'm chasing them.
    I try to be positive but I am finding myself hating this place,aside from a couple of friends I hang out sometimes at my job, this loneliness and not meeting someone special is depressing me,and it makes me angry how cme a jerk like this LDR can find someone (I don't know if he's still with his new gf) and I cant, because this is making me think of him more. I try to be positive,reading positive books but I'm really hating it hear and want to go back to Chicago even though I hate th winters there, I don't feel like I'll meet anyone in this town in Georgia,but I do have one more semester to graduate. Does anyone have advice,or insights on my situation or what would they do? This situation is making me feel desperate. Thank you
  • Jul 23, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Justwantfair
    I would find something I really enjoy and see about joining some leagues/classes about it. It is a great way to make friends and do things that you enjoy as well. It will help you to keep your mind off the situation and it may help you make a whole group of new friends. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? A local gym?
  • Jul 23, 2008, 02:20 PM
    talaniman
    You only have one semester, finish it, and then you can do what you want, where you want, with whom you want.

    Focus on you, and a life you enjoy, and makes you happy, and you'll attract someone to share it with. Make you the priority, not some man. Don't waste time chasing ghosts, and going through so many desperate losers, when you can be making friends, and building a life, and be happy with yourself, for yourself.
  • Jul 24, 2008, 12:47 PM
    Lilyinwinter212
    Thank you so much for taking time to respond Justwant and Talinman,
    Justwant,sure I go to my school's Gym,not as much but I should go more,and I appreciate what you said Tal about wasting your time with so many losers,
    I saw a counselor yeaterday that made me feel better,its just t when hings get so much I wonder if it will ever get better. Chasing ghosts? Interesting

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