Okay, kind of boring question I know, but hey I'm kind of stuck. I got back in contact with an ex recently and have tried to keep things "friendly" (we were friends before the relationship) and low key. We have not spoken in person or via telephone yet. He gave me his number and said if I really want to catch up and open up to call him. The whole tone of the message was nice and friendly but what do I say? I don't want to sound blubbery or too cold. I have had other very meaningful relationships since him and I am sure he has too, but he never left my mind. The reason I got back in touch with him isn't because I am lonely or unable to let go , I just miss his "ness". I have never met anyone quite like him before or since, even at his worst. So how do I keep from sounding like a complete a**?I'm going to call him relatively soon so fast answers appreciated.
BTW we broke up because he moved over 1000 miles away and still lives there but apparently isn't happy.Also neither of us have kids and are single, though I cannot move :)

Just call, be casual and offer to go get a cup of coffee together to catch up on old times.

If you are both single and missing each other's respective "ness", then I would say simply be YOU. Be yourself. Don't try to be something you're not, simply catch each other up on the time that you've been apart. Tell him what you've done, what you've experienced, show him who you've become. Simply be the friend that you were... if something develops, that's an extra perk!

First thing to find out though, is if he is in a relationship. That's a deal-breaker.

This has the potential for being one of those happily-ever-after stories and I hope it works out for you. :)

I think I'm out of the loop. What does "ness" mean?

To answer the question this seems more like the impossible dream, the fantasy of finding love over again with someone who moved away, miles, nor other people, nor life will stand in your way to be reunited. It sounds like a movie. I think you may be living the fantasy but not the reality, a relationship probably can't develop over that distance and keeping in contact with him will only further your emotional drive, so you'll be stuck in neutral.

I'm not telling you to not call him, I'm just telling you to be realistic. As far as what to say, keep it light, fun, and current.

Maybe you shouldn't call until you can figure out what to say and are comfortable doing so.

I can see the expectation in your writing,

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Originally Posted by greenpastures

Okay, kinda boring question I know, but hey I'm kinda stuck. I got back in contact with an ex recently and have tried to keep things "friendly" (we were friends before the relationship) and low key. We have not spoken in person or via telephone yet. He gave me his number and said if I really want to catch up and open up to call him. The whole tone of the message was nice and friendly but what do I say? I don't want to sound blubbery or too cold. I have had other very meaningful relationships since him and I am sure he has too, but he never left my mind. The reason I got back in touch with him isn't because I am lonely or unable to let go , I just miss his "ness". I have never met anyone quite like him before or since, even at his worst. So how do I keep from sounding like a complete a**?I'm gonna call him relatively soon so fast answers appreciated.
BTW we broke up because he moved over 1000 miles away and still lives there but apparently isnt happy.Also neither of us have kids and are single, though I cannot move :)

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Many people that are in true love stay together across the miles so I think there was more or less to the breaking up totally without remaining in contact. Secondly, there can be that guy that we may love but are not in love with but miss being friends. I have an x like this. Worshiped me but not right for me. Might want to remain friends only like it should have been, however, usually someone has a problem with doing that. Good friends are hard to fine and REAL people. Might want to set down and write before doing too much and decide what you need from him now. Good luck