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-   -   My girlfriend was sexually abused by her father as a child (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=240743)

  • Jul 23, 2008, 09:30 AM
    ConfusedTeen2nd
    My girlfriend was sexually abused by her father as a child
    I am 16 years old. I am currently in a long distance relationship with this girl. The other day I just found out that she was sexually abused by her father. This came as a shock to me even though she told me stories of her father had trouble with the police about this.I don't know how to put this but she kind of knew that something happened to her when she was young because she said that she remembers bits and pieces of what happened to her with her father.The reason why she only remember bits and pieces is because she said she forced herself to forget what happened to her.Her sister is the one who finished filling in the other pieces since her sister went through the same thing.

    The effects of what he has done to her is there she feels insecure,she gets very jealous if I am talking to another female,she hates her body and herself,she's also scared of older men,she doesn't feel comfortable when
    Touched or hugged. I don't know what to do I want to be supportive but how can I when she's so far away. I want to be there for her but I feel so useless in this situation.I don't know what to say to her.Its like she told me this to support her but I can't all that I could say was "thats horrible" I feel so stupid.Also I tried to convince her to go to counseling but she says that she doesn't want to go. That she got over the situation but why does she still have these effects. I have read a few things and it said that more problems can arise as her life goes on and I want to prevent that or do something to comfort her.I feel like saying I'm here for you but it seems so not true I mean I'm all the way over here and she's all the way over there.

    As I said before I tried to convince her to go to counseling but she disagrees says that she's over it but I don't believe her I said that counseling can help her she said it didn't help her sister.I want to keep trying to convince her to go but I have a few questions about counseling.Is counseling suppose to take away the effects or help her deal with them? Does it stops from any other problems arising? What specifically does counseling do?

    I would really like to understand what she's going through as well can anyone post websites or resources that can help me understand what she's going through. I tried to look at the resources forum but it doesn't seem to relate to her.Any website at all that's related to her please.

    Sorry for the long page but I just really want to help her so please any and all help is appreciated. Thank you for reading my post.
  • Jul 23, 2008, 09:52 AM
    progunr
    Take a look at isurvive.org, it should provide an in depth view of how this problem effects the adult survivor.
  • Jul 23, 2008, 11:04 AM
    nancybabe
    She really needs to get counseling.

    "The effects of what he has done to her is there she feels insecure,she gets very jealous if I am talking to another female,she hates her body and herself,shes also scared of older men,she doesn't feel comfortable when touched or hugged."

    These are serious problems and she needs to have someone to help her deal with it who is an expert and knows how to help her.

    You are a sweet guy but ill-equipped to handle such a serious problem that your girlfriend has. I believe that until she finds help, these problems will continue, or, sadly, grow.
  • Nov 24, 2008, 11:32 AM
    oscarlicous

    I do hope that the dad is going to jail because what if her and her sister have kids. You never know what he will do to them
  • Oct 11, 2011, 09:37 PM
    mehere888
    I say u take a big spiked f*&kin bat, and put something long and hard in her dads mouth!

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