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Me and my boyfriend are both 19 and we've got a little girl we've been together for 4 years now and sex was great at first we always had it twice or more a day and now we have it twice a week and sometimes we don't have it for over a week, and when we do he only lasts about 2 minutes and it's the same thing over and over again he only seems to want to do it doggy style. What can I do:(
Oh you I get it. He only wants it doggy style to get it over and done with completely to his satisfaction. I don't think that would do much for you at all. He is too complacent, set in his ways, a lazy lover. Put on something really sexy that can be taken off immediately, throw him on the bed and straddle him and do it really slow to get the most out of it for you. I hope he starts begging after that. You have to take charge, miss jayne to get what you want out of a man. If you have to, tie his hands to the bed post !
Have you talked to him about it? How old is the child? Do you ever have time alone or away from the child?
I would suggest that you discuss this with him. Is he stressed? Is there anything bothering him? I'd start there. If he is dealing with stress - then perhaps that is the cause.
I agree with kp and maksmommy just think about the way your going to put it, try not to crush his ego.
'Try not to crush his ego'. Give me a break. He isn't doing very much for your g/f self esteem. Doggy style is akin to masturbating only a little more comfortable, as far as I am concerned. I think this goes beyond not crushing his ego and communication. He is only l9, not 40.
Screw his ego... its big enough for a small city already or he would listen to her and what she wants and needs.
Its high time he starts too before she starts sleeping around on him.
I got the impression she wanted a solution not to "get even" a little tact can go along way right? You all assumed an awful lot about the situation from one paragraph. At 19 I needed a lot of verbal communication from my girlfriends along these lines and I am in no way bad person.
There is no reason why she shouldn't act in a loving manner, he might not realize the situation from her perspective. She obviously wants to stay in a relationship with him. The more problems you can solve smoothly the better off your relationship will be, period.
When both parities in any kind of relationship act this way, the probability for success is raised.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tickle
I don't get it, are you saying he should know more at 19 than at 40?
Actually the fact he is only concerned about what he want, how he wants it and getting what he wants a quick as possible shows its all about his ego.Quote:
Originally Posted by DuBas07
Even at 16 I never did that, and at 19 I was all too in tune with my girlfriends needs... at least to the degree they were capable of communicating at that age.
Hi Jayne, you say you've been together 4 years now, so it was a childhood sweetheart thing that progressed.Quote:
Originally Posted by miss jayne
Am I right in thinking that niether of you have had many parteners being that you were only 15 when your relationship started... if any.
What you have to realize is that growing together is all about learning and that includes the sexual side of your relationship, which can take a long time.
It could be that he would like to try something more adventurous but is to embarrassed to say ,thinking that you preferr what you do now ,as apposed to something different.
You could set the scene... have your Mum or someone else to take care of your child overnight... don't tell your boyfriend, then maybe cook a meal ready for when he gets home, candlelight,soft music, wine etc... wear something really sensuous, spray on a perfume you know he loves... don't forget the hair and makeup,often overlooked once you feel comfortable in a relationship, but a guy is still a guy and they do notice if you let yourself go
Have to hand a magazine all about sexual positions, just leave it casually on the bed or sofa, somewhere like that, hopefully after you've dined and had a few glasses of wine, you can snuggle up on the sofa and casually look at this mag' which eventually should prompt a response... if it doesn't but you know he really wants to, then it's up to you to take the lead.
Goodluck
You are still a teenager and very inexperienced about all the aspects of life including the depth of female sexuality.
The road you want to travel is developing yourself into a mature woman... that takes time and life experience. You need to get in touch with your own orgasmic potential and sexual passions. :) What drives you mad with desire. A woman who is happy with her sex life is a woman who is assertive... not passive, not a people pleaser.
Reading erotica, no porn... get a good book on female sexuality... enjoy yourself. YOu want to get to the point where you ask your husband to please you and tell him what you like. :) That's what men are really for... to please multiple orgasmic women in bed, every day. :D
How do you know this?Quote:
Originally Posted by smoothy
I am saying, DuBas07 that at l9 he already has a big ego or he wouldn't be. So to speak 'in and out' so quickly. Its all about him, so he has enough ego at the moment.
No other possible reasons for his behavior huh? I think not.
No I don't think so. He is tired of it all and this is a way out of masturbating, IMO. I am sure you can think of some better reasons if you try hard enough. I am long passed this type of scenario actually but do remember what it was like and corrected it by realizing no amount of talking was going to do any good, so usually kicked them to the curb and went on with my sexual life as it was. Usually quite satisfying with the right partner. One had to go through a few before getting to the cream of the crop though.
It would be downright selfish of her to act that way, she has a child. If she legitimately tried to address her problems and he didn't do anything to make her happy then yeah she has a right to be happy she should leave. But your assuming she's even brought this to his attention at this point. There still kids for god's sake.
Sorry, they are not KIDS. At least I hope not on her part after giving birth, there should be some maturity there and her post suggests that. Haven't I indicated enough that I think he is immature ? Anyway, women are more inclined to mature faster then men. So, what exactly do you want me to say. No I am not assuming anything. I have given my opinion, and I will not debate. That is not what we do here.
Saying you haven't assumed anything is a little bit of a stretch, more people than you assumed he had malicious intent, Is self obsessed and doesn't deserve mature loving communication. I was oblivious to a lot of dynamics in my early relationships and it was never out of bad intentions, that's all Im saying. :) thank god I dated a couple of straight shooters who knew how to have a loving mature discussion.
Stop it. Lets stay on topic and allow others their opinions. Its fine to disagree but at some point lets not make it back and forth bickering.
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