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-   -   Commitment issues (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=240393)

  • Jul 22, 2008, 12:12 PM
    fitone
    Commitment issues
    I've been dating a man for 2 months, when we met we both said we weren't looking for anything serious. We had both come out of something in the last 6 months, were busy with our businesses and there was an age difference of 8 years. In a very short time things took a very different turn, we found we had a lot in common, enjoyed each other on all levels, all in all we both said and agreed that we were exactly what the other was looking for. That it had become more than something casual, there were feelings involved. I found myself falling for him, and got the impression he felt the same. We spent every night together for the last 4 weeks. When out of the blue he started to distance himself, it took him 3 days to tell me he was torn and didn't think he was ready to give me 100% of himself. That he was still dealing with issues from his past, but believes that if we are meant to be together we will be even if it's not now. My question is should I still see him, wait for him. We never fought, disagreed we got along so well and easily I can't imagine him not in my life, but I want to do what's right for both of us, is it possible to support him through this and still be with him.
  • Jul 23, 2008, 12:57 AM
    ylaira
    He's not that into you this time so keep the distance for your own good. If he wants you, he'll work for it. If not, forget it. You'll just hurt if you will insist.
  • Jul 23, 2008, 05:00 AM
    JBeaucaire
    It's two months. Relax. Dating him or not isn't an end of the world thing anyway. Just date him, keep things simple, date others if you want. Relax. If he feels pressured, it's probably because to some degree pressure IS being applied and he's not ready for that.

    It's only been two months. Is it wrong for him to want to keep things slow? Not at all. Don't treat this as fatalistic to your relationship, it doesn't have to be.

    Also, nothing wrong with dating others, too. Keep your eyes open.

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