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-   -   Pay for the gifts? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=240329)

  • Jul 22, 2008, 09:33 AM
    wallawalla
    Pay for the gifts?
    So I bought my ex gift and then subsequently have broken up. We have been in no contact for 2 weeks now. I know this sounds rude, but should I ask him to pay me back for the gift? Sure it sounds vindictive, but you know I will feel better and I am sure he probably doesn't want to see gifts that are from me anyway (even if the gifts brought him a smile to his face)?

    Btw, he dumped me. Won't be both feel better if we got what we wanted? Since it is over, shouldn't I just ask him to pay for it? I spent almost $200 for those gifts. Money is not that easy to make. I want him to pay?

    What do you all think? Help?
  • Jul 22, 2008, 09:36 AM
    twinkiedooter
    A gift is a gift. Asking for the gift back or the money you spent on the gift is tasteless. Would you expect him to ask for any gifts he gave you or ask you to pay for your gift? No. Next time don't spend so much money on a gift or if you do spend money on a gift consider it just that - a gift.
  • Jul 22, 2008, 10:51 AM
    Romefalls19
    Write it down as a lesson learned, did he ask for anything he gave you back? To ask that would be inconsiderate and morally wrong. Sorry, just keep mouth closed about it.
  • Jul 22, 2008, 08:01 PM
    wallawalla
    not to be a smartass, but I have already lost my face; so I don't really care to lose more face which I probably don't have any. =) just kidding. I know I have to be a big person. But I was wondering what the general consensus would be. I rather see him be flabbergasted and awed by my request. Oh well, such is life. I love you guys. Thank you!
  • Jul 22, 2008, 08:05 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Sorry no, you can not ask to be paid back for a gift. If you can prove it was a loan, but only if a loan.
  • Jul 22, 2008, 08:20 PM
    friend4u178
    Definitely not...

    It's easier to make money than it is to gain your dignity back!
  • Jul 22, 2008, 10:07 PM
    jiltedgirl
    Do not ask for the gift back. It won't benefit you and it certainly won't make you feel better in the long run. No matter who dumped whom, just leave things (this includes gifts) in the past now that it's over.

    GL,
    J
  • Jul 22, 2008, 10:11 PM
    erin7799
    No. Getting them back doesn't really get you anywhere. And they were gifts. He gets to keep them.
  • Jul 23, 2008, 04:49 AM
    JBeaucaire
    Since you already admit what you REALLY want to accomplish is to "see him flabbergasted", then you realize that what is happening here is your DARK SIDE is trying to pitch a fit. You have to ignore those thoughts. Your dark side isn't trying to get anything for you good, it's just trying to spread darkness into the world.

    When evil tries to poke its head up through your own life/actions, smack it down.

    A gift is a gift. Leave it be.

    An ex is an ex. Leave him be.

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