Originally Posted by jrebel7
I would be interested to know about other family members in this scenario, mother, siblings, etc. Bottom line is if you stay you are being an enabler and your course will not change as he will continue to emotionally blackmail you.
One thing you need to keep in mind is you are not showing disrespect by pursuing your life and career. He chose to help you when you needed help but he is your father, not your life mate. Children are given to us to love, nurture, teach and prepare them to face the future, confident that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to do. Part of being a good parent is being able to let that child go when the time comes for them to pursue their life and become an effective person helping others and achieving their dreams. As a parent, I can tell you, it is difficult. I love my two children more than life itself but because I do, I had to let them grow up, leave home, continue their education, find love, careers, marry and have children. How rich my life is. YES, I would have liked to have kept them with me forever but that is not what is suppose to be.
Your dad is fulfilling his emotional needs through you. I encourage you not to enable him to do this to you. It is not doing him a favor by staying in the situation. You will both be locked in........I know part of his feeling may be fear of losing you. We had death threats on my children. I was terrified I would lose them, not knowing day to day if I would ever see them alive again when they left for school, etc. It was a battle. The Mama Bear in me wanted to fight anything and everything that would threaten my children but I had to do it in such a manner that their lives were not disabled or put on hold. I had to take precautions for their safety but also had to let go, little by little. Even after the trauma of two years past, it was still difficult to watch them drive out of our driveway. I did though and so must your dad.
You have a right to have a life and a career. You are not showing disrespect by doing so...please keep that in mind.