I decided to come here to ask this question so I could get an unbiased opinion. I recently married a man who I had been seeing for about 3 months. We have been married and living together for about 9 months now. He is a wonderful guy, although he is jealous, and doesn't let me see my best friend who is a male, but a whole lot younger than me. My husband claims that he loves me, although he doesn't let me do things that I enjoy doing, things that are a part of me. I have tried to talk to him about these issues, but he is unyielding and very untrusting, even though I have never cheated on him, and never would. The truth is, I do love him, but I don't enjoy living with him, because I am so very unhappy. And now I feel like I have ruined his life... but I don't want him to be miserable because I am the unhappy one, but he says that he couldn't live without me. I've tried to tell him that I'm not happy, and he asks me what he can do to make me happy, but I can't say anything. I don't want to hurt him, but this relationship is starting to effect my physical health. I've tried giving him the opportunity to become a little less controlling, but nothing has changed. What should I do to minimize the pain for both of us? I desperately do not want to hurt him.

And now I feel like I have ruined his life... but I don't want him to be miserable because I am the unhappy one, but he says that he couldn't live without me.

And now I feel like I have ruined his life... ---You feel like you ruined HIS life because HE will not let you have a life..

But I don't want him to be miserable because I am the unhappy one--that's pretty backwards I would say!

But he says that he couldn't live without me---he is laying a guilt trip on you and you are giving into it.

Sounds like you need to get away from him
He has you 'controlled' and you will not see it unless you break away.
You love him but that doesn't and shouldn't mean that you become a nobody with no life
You are not a puppet on a string!

That is what he is counting on.
What makes his life/happiness worth more than yours?
He doesn't seem to care about hurting you even to the point of it affecting your health.

You are dealing with an insecure man and no matter what you give up for him it will never be enough, he will always be afraid that you are going to leave, cheat or so and so is trying to come in between you. I would not be surprised if he does not dislike your family and want to keep you distanced from them. He may even become jealous of t.v. shows, reading books, hobbies that doesn't include him or ones that he has not approved for you. He may want to limit your talking to other people to when he is around.
Your in for a lonely life if you let him control you. If you fight back then your life will be filled with one struggle after another... if he will not go to counseling with you and try to get some help and understanding with his problem all I see is misery for you.

Controllers work hard to separate you from family, friends, and fellow workers — then try work hard to separate you from your self-esteem and self-confidence. Meanwhile, they take no responsibility for their behavior — it’s always your fault —o see no wrong. They have no tolerance for you having a personal life, job, family, goals, career, etc.
Individuals who operate this way do so because it’s their personality — not something you have done or didn’t do. You could be the best wife, partner, lover, etc. in the world and it wouldn’t matter. To keep you under control they must destroy your self-confidence, so you’ll never be good enough. Destroying your self-confidence also makes it less likely you’ll escape the situation.
Keep in mind that if you feel miserable in this relationship — it’s not love. It’s something else.

Also, if you stay it will only get worst. Its oblivious he's unwilling to change and I'm sure there was signs before marriage. You need to live for you and if you stay you can because depress and your health will get worse. He needs counseling for his lack of trust and if he's unwilling to do so then you must decide what's best for you worry about your happiness. Can you picture life with him for the next 5 years? Do your have kids?