Ask Me Help Desk - Should I just end it now or wait it out?

I have been with my man for almost 4 years now and love him to death. :o I have mentioned to him on many occasions that I want to get engaged and have a family. We bought a house together nearly 2 years ago now so we are really committed in that sense.
Today I said to him if we won the lotto I'd say "propose now or see you later" as a joke, and he cracked it with me and got really nasty :( saying that I am controlling him and stuff, but it was only meant as a joke. I told him it was a joke and he started abusing me saying that I control everything he does. He rarely shows he loves me and doesn't pay much attention to me so I really don't know if he has feeling for me like I have for him. He says that when the time is right he will propose to me. Should I stick it out and wait to see if he does propose or should I just end it now because he doesn't seem to care about my feelings anyway? :confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by biancam1986

I have been with my man for almost 4 years now and love him to death. :o I have mentioned to him on many occasions that I want to get engaged and have a family. We bought a house together nearly 2 years ago now so we are really committed in that sense.
Today I said to him if we won the lotto I'd say "propose now or see you later" as a joke, and he cracked it with me and got really nasty :( saying that I am controlling him and stuff, but it was only meant as a joke. I told him it was a joke and he started abusing me saying that I control everything he does. He rarely shows he loves me and doesnt pay much attention to me so I really dont know if he has feeling for me like I have for him. He says that when the time is right he will propose to me. Should I stick it out and wait to see if he does propose or should I just end it now because he doesnt seem to care about my feelings anyway? :confused:

Why are you 'giving' him what should be for marriage anyhow? Maybe he is acting like this because he doesn't have to make any commitments to you, after all is said and done he has a 'wife' anyway, so why make it official.

Don't put up with his crazy madness. Don't you deserve to be with someone who has the same goals and desires as you? (as far as it relates to being married and starting a family)

You are amazing because you have lasted this long.

I say call it all over and done with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by biancam1986

Should I stick it out and wait to see if he does propose or should I just end it now because he doesnt seem to care about my feelings anyway? :confused:

Four years being together and 2 years living together is enough telling time if he thinks he's right for you.Whether you marry now or get married later, there will always be a problem so when a man makes a lot of alibi why "he doesnt want to tie a knot" well, I will assume that ''HE'S JUST HAPPY WITH THE WAY YOU ARE TODAY."

HE Doesn't CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS? What else to hold on then?

Sharing a house is hardly a commitment, and he has what he wants, ( A house and someone to help pay for it, and sex! ) so why change it because you want more??

Does he care? Not now he doesn't. Make this simple, a healthy relationship, is about communications, and sharing, and caring, and a willingness to work together to solve your issues. You have seen how HE deals with YOUR issues.

You do have half equity right?

I think we're getting only half the story here.

WHY does he think you're controlling? Does he feel like you've set the timetable for everything in your relationship? I mean, did YOU decide that you wanted a house, and talk him into it? Did YOU decide when you should live together, and get his agreement? Did HE propose the timing on ANY of the major happenings in your relationship?

Maybe it IS an issue that he doesn't "care for your feelings", but if he doesn't want you to set the timing on getting engaged, maybe you aren't caring for HIS feelings either.

The major issue here is lack of communication. You both need to sit down and talk--without accusations! --about what you think is important in a relationship, and how you should communicate it.

I do want to point out, though, that if your name reflects your age (that you're 21 or 22), then I can't blame him for not wanting to jump into marriage. What ELSE is going on in your lives right now? Are you or is he in college? Have one of you started a new job in the last year or so?

I don't think how long a couple has been together should determine whether they should get married. Nor do I believe that age should have anything to do with it--unless you still need your parents permission to marry, of course. I do think, however, that you need to work on your communication with each other BEFORE you get married, or your marriage will be doomed before it gets off the ground.