Howw do I get this process started?

Your lender must agree; write it a letter. Check this: Deed-In-Lieu Frequently Asked Questions - HUD

How long has the home been for sale, many lenders require 3 to 6 months of being listed with a realitor before they will even discuss it.

But it will be up to the lender, you can merely ask them I had many turned down last year. Many lenders will have a budget paper work you have to file out to prove to them you don't have the money to pay them. Many banks are foreclose instead.