My husband works in construction and goes to the bar on a regular basis. He often stays out all night and doesn't come home until after 3am. I call him and he won't answer then when he does he makes up some excuse about why he didn't answer. He gets way too drunk and always drives home. I worry about him like crazy and get horrible gut aches when he is away. I have caught him with phone numbers before and caught him signing up on online singles networks. He says he loves me more than anything and can't imagine life without me, so why does he have to be at the bar all the time and why does he do all this stuff to hurt me.

Have you ever suggested counseling, either by yourself or as couples?

He's obviously out there shopping and sampling the merchandise along the way. Would suggest that you make a choice - him the way he is now obviously out cheating - or - no him and moving on with your life with some person who does not go out drinking and womanizing every night. Tough choice to make I know, but in the end that's what it is going to boil down to. My dead husband had a mistress - booze - I hated booze and in the end we parted our ways after many years of me being in denial that he was an alki.

Changing the locks and not letting him in at 3 comes to my mind.

He should not be doing this, my opinoin, tell him not to go out like that, or if he does just don't come back period