Lithium for Manic-Depressive illness?
Ok, so I've bin diagnossed with Manic-depressive illness. My psychiatrist wants me to take Lithium, and listed about 12-16 side effects. Now, other then the fact that I'm terrified of these side effects, such as, groggy, drained feelings, mental confution (with high levels in the blood), and tremors, muscle twitching (which I already get once in a while), nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, thirst (which I always seem to be, and never seem to get enough water, even if I drink 5-10 (tall)cups a day). Wieght gain I'm not too worried about, on account I'm pretty small, mind you if I start to get fat I'll be very depressed because I like to keep fit, but don't have a lot of time for activities such as working out, or exercising. This, conserns me a lot, because to be honest, I think I'd rather be depressed and not suffer, then feel level and suffer.
I mean really, I have my days, and I have my days. In other words some times I feel good others I feel bad. But at least I'm not in pysical pain, other than my headaches I get from stress. I have bin told that lithium makes people feel kind of spaced out, and cloudy minded. I've bin on anti-depressants that make me feel like this alread, and they really started to piss me off. To the point I becase very aggressive and irrational. (this conserns me deeply.) I like being able to think, I'm actaully addicted to it, that's why I get depressed I think. I can't control my thoughts and they keep bringing up sad depressing things, like old relationships, bad grades, inabilities to understand something's (usually school related.) and such.
I was on a stimulant, and rather then being all tired all the time I felt energised, even if I didn't get a lot of sleep. Though lack of sleep was bound to catch up with me someday. I did feel good, but maybe a little too good. I was put on the stimulants to see if I had ADHD, see if that's what I had I'd beable to focus and do things, but if I wasn't then I'd get really high. (manic) I would every day get a feeling of intense fear, only for a moment or so, one minute at the most. But I could control myself better, so I didn't really alow it to take hold. It used to be I'd just start Catastrophizing, that's when you think of all the bad what if possibilities to any given situation, kind of paralizing.
Some one please give me some good news, about lithium, I could use some hope. Thanks.