I have been in a relationship with a guy for about a year now. During this year we have gained very strong feelings for each other. LOVE .this relationship has not been easy on us both we have both cheated on each other he has been abusive (but not any more) I feel as if he only calls me when he needs something and we are still messing around I'm so confused about what to do in this situation because he tells me we are not together. I mean this guy has seen other text messages from other guys saying they want to be with me (he still treats me like ) but still he acts as if we were. He controls me and all. I have so much love for this guy I want us to start over and be in this relationship togther and do things right but then again I want to leave him alone I'm young beautiful woman and guys go after me everyday. What should I do leave him or try to talk to him and let him know how I feel?

Honestly leave him and leave him NOW! I have a friend who went or actually is going through close to the same as you but with one difference they have a 5 month old together now. She is miserable. He won't let her go anywhere, threatens to kill himself when she says she's going to leave, but the next day is having sex with someone else. She has been with this guy for 2 years and honestly I have seen her cry more then smile. One thing that is very important that you realise once he shows any signs of abuse no matter how little its time to leave. It doesn't just go away. He might not be physically abusing you right now but the controlling you is a form of mental abuse. I know that you love him and he says that he's changed but still leave. If you have guys after you all the time then I'm sure that you can find someone that is better for you and will treat you with respect and let you be yourself. It's not going to be easy and it will even hurt but you need to cut all contact with him and forget he even exsists. Trust me there is someone out there that will love you as much as you love him

Sweetheart, why would you want to be with a man that has been abusive to you? No man (or woman) has any right to hit a woman (or man) EVER. Period. He hit you, he should not be part of your life anymore.

You deserve to be cherished not abused, nor should ever have to wonder if it will happen again. No man loves a woman that he abuses. Ever. If a man loves you, he will never abuse you. That's just basic. I know that if you love a man, you wouldn't show that love by abusing him, would you? You would never do that. Then why should he be allowed to.

Its not a question of "do you have a future" because he made the mistake of abusing you in your past. Sweetie, focus on finding that white knight that will treat you like the princess you are... don't get sidetracked by the impostor.

Best of luck.:)

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he tells me we are not together

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I would believe him, and move on. Don't be stuck in the face of the obvious.

Controlling and abusive people have no space for a relationship. Run run run run for your life and as fast as you can. Don't look back!

So, you both have cheated but claim to love each other? Not seeing how that can be, but this relationship is not going to walk around, cut the losses and walk away

I didn't see anyone mention it, but I think you need to look inside yourself as well. You cheated on him - so you aren't innocent in this. Additionally, you mentioned that he "saw texts from guys saying they wanted to be with you" and he still acted the same way. That sounds like game playing. I wouldn't put up with that either (not to say I would be abusive).

I don't think either of you are ready or healthy enough for a relationship.

I mentioned it BB ha ha... I was wondering why no one else had seen that part of the post too, they both made mistakes and its obvious the relationship is broken way beyond repair, cheating, abuse, lying, game playing. I just don't see where it would be a healthy choice to continue

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

i mentioned it BB ha ha...I was wondering why no one else had seen that part of the post too, they both made mistakes and its obvious the relationship is broken way beyond repair, cheating, abuse, lying, game playing. I just don't see where it would be a healthy choice to continue

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Ahh, you did. I don't think your post was there when I posted, you barely beat me :p